Thursday, December 30, 2004

Tsunami....

Each time the news is turned to the death toll has risen exponentially... I can't get the images out of my mind... of the sri lankan father weeping like a baby as he clutches his daughters body... Why to already destitute people. Is God making them pay for their sins on earth so they can go straight to heaven? What did all those people do to deserve this. What can be worse than losing your livlihood, home, and family? I know that though it's on a large scale this exact desolation is being felt in Iraq, Somalia, Sudan, Rwanda, Palestine and much else of the world but the media is not censoring any image here so it brings it sharply into focus...

I feel guilt. I feel guilt that I'm trying to lose weight, struggling with the surplus of food here and there are people in Indonesia eating leaves and countless others dying from hunger. I feel guilt that I don't want to wake up again at 6:00am to go to work and would rather sleep in.. that I spent so much money on a bedspread.....that if I get all C's or D's on my report card I will cry....Allah (swt) says in no uncertain terms "Of thy sustainers blessings shall thou ever speak"

I used to think sometimes of all my luxuries how some people out there, most can't afford internet, clean water, etc. But now at this very moment as I type on this computer there is someone lying on the floor dying of hunger.

I always think that Allah Swt is looking out for me and I know He is. He has saved me from so many things even if I was trying to run head first into wrong, He stopped me and He's guided me. He's given me so much to be thankful for. WHY DID ALL THOSE PEOPLE HAVE TO DIE. WHY AM I SITTING HERE with hot water, heating and a warm bed?

The only thing that makes sense to me is that "To whom much is given, much is expected"..... I have been given everything I could want I have to give back now. On the day of Judgement I will be asked what I did with the life I have.....

I want to adopt a child. I always have wanted this. Ofcourse I want my own children but to take in one child and give them an opportunity that they could otherwise never have.... not a baby, a child of 5 or 6, old enough to know that I'm not the "mother" but young enough to help change.... Yse I can't save ALL the children, but as the man who threw back starfish that got stranded on the beach "It may not make a difference to all of them, but to the ones I save it made all the difference." Ofcourse its emotions running through me but I just wish I could pick up the phone and bring one over here and hold him or her and tell them things will be better someday. For now I could sponsor a child....

I need to use my life to help others. I try this by teaching underpriveledged kids. I had a good childhood......... two parents, siblings, food on the table, and a roof over my head..... I wanted to teach children who didn't have that so I could be perhaps a role model and a vessel to give them hope that they could overcome their surroundings...... So I am trying... I wanted to do law school to help people also....

I am one person and I can't change the world can I..... But I need to sit down and figure out what I want to do and focus and accomplish..........

The simplest thing I can do is pray for them. May God make it easier on them. . .


1 comment:

rehtwo said...

Okay so I don't know if you're going to read this, seeing how old it is and all, but I just had to tell you something funny. The orphanage in the Philippines where my brother lived for the first two years of his life enlisted my father to be in a video about its mission. It basically told the story about the man with the the starfish...in the video my father is that man, on a gorgeous beach in Cebu surrounded by starfish...funny how you chose the same theme to talk about adoption.

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