Keeping Things in Perspective

Yesterday as I was driving up a slight incline to the parking ramp at Georgia State, consumed in my thoughts of how tough law school is, how confusing it could be sometimes, I noticed on the sidewalk on this incline a boy who in every aspect looked normal, except he was in a wheelchair. The sight would make anyone reflect..... it was a slight incline and this boy was trying so hard, so very hard to scale it with his arms pushing the wheelchair as hard as he could. I saw the look of frustration in his face as the wheelchair kept sliding back and he would have to start over. I wanted to get out and help him, but I was afraid to offend his ego. Anyways, he did finally make it up.... but it just reminded me of a very important fact.

Worrying about "the meaning of life" is really a luxury that we can have. Not this boy perhaps, but so many people are struggling to keep themselves and their families from dying of starvation. Worries such as mine come from a generation where we are trying so very hard to not eat so very much........ Ofcourse we should consider the meaning and try to find our purpose..

But it shouldn't consume us.....

Perspective is a crucial and very vital key to staying balanced..

Law School. What am I DOING

I remember when I was 14 a discussion about lawyers came up, and how to do good as a lawyer you have to be good at reading and writing. And so I thought, okay.... I'm good at that, I could be a lawyer.

Then, in college, two of my friends ended up going that route because I talked so much about law school. I wanted to major in English and then go to law school. I remember going to Uf's law library sitting there and thinking, this could be me here one day. I remember paying over 1,000 dollars just to take a kaplan course, and studying even more after getting married. Putting sweat and heart into applications and essays.... So did I do all this and not know why on earth I want to be a lawyer? That makes no sense at all does it?

I know my burning desire came because its important to be a lawyer. There is a need for lawyers... to help others. I hope that will always be my goal to help others and strive to help my people who need my help.

To do my part. But you know what......... I help Muslims right now as a teacher. I show through example to those who are not, and I show as a role model for those who are.

Education never hurt anyone, and maybe if law school was easy I wouldnt be feeling this way. But law school is time consuming. It takes every minute of free time you have.

I also want to be a writer. I want to write books and articles. Why am I not doing that? I had the whole summer to do that!!

I think it comes down to the dilemma I've had since I waas ten. What is the meaning of life? Why am I here? Life is short what will be my mark? How do I reach my potential?

I know that I am definetly in this pursuit to reach my potential, and to make a mark, and to find meaning. But am I using my potential in the best way for me. For who I am? Or am I just jabbing at different things hoping it will be the right choice........ I don't know.

As far as personal goals. I want to be a good person, I want to be able to express my creativity, sometimes I remember all the creative games I played as a child, all the stories I wrote, and I feel this ache in me, where did it go?

Maybe I'm too hard on myself. I'm just one person. I can't possibly do everything there is to do in this world. I could squeeze time in to do my writing if I really believe in it. I had the whole summer with nothing going on and didnt do it.... so am I just making excuses and looking at the grass being greener over there.

Law School, GOOD GRIEF

Well law school has officially begun this week.

Last week was orientation and it was the most draining week of my life. We had class from 5-10:30 pm some days and some days it began even earlier like 2pm!
my schedule is not as rigorous as the orientation was but the work outside of classroom hours is the part that is really mind blowing. I have to somehow figure out how to work, attend classes, eat, sleep, oh yes and see my husband who I rarely see these days..... I have to thank Kashif for being so supportive of this whole endeavour that I've embarked upon.

So i'm taking Contracts and Property, those are pretty self explanatory titles I'd say. Then I'm taking RWA and Legal Bibliography, which require more work than the first two put together and they are half the credit hours! Its really a challenge, I think the biggest thing I will learn from law school is time management and stamina. Because I think I sure need a little bit more of both!

Anyhow, I'm sorry if I'm not as quick to respond as I usually was in the past, I am just so overwhelmed with this new schedule. Insh'allah once I learn it and get a routine going then i can have some back to normal stuff. I am off at 8:45 from classes and till 9;30 I am driving, so call my cell phone if you are ever bored around that time and keep me company! I'd always appreciate it:)

Abu's Description of Hurricane Charlie

Aug. 13, 2004, Friday is the day Hurricane Charley hit us. It is not like Hurricane Andrew 12 years ago, however, it is Abdrew for those who have suffered. Looking from some of the pictures of devastation, it could be worse than Andrew. We watched weather reports perhaps on TV upto 9:00 or so, then the power was gone. Aamir had worked very hard the whole day Friday to make teh preparations - and those paid off. He prepared the closet under the stairs for shelter, by removing all the excess stuff and brought in pillows and comformers. He also got ready battery operated radio, a kerosin oil lantern and flash lights. We lit the lantern, tuned teh radio for news and st down in the closet. There was alot of wind noise but most of the time those were gusts, not sustained. if I have to guess, teh sustained wind was perhaps about a half an hour. The was only one or two minutes of anxious time when I felt a light sweat. There was no comparison with Andrew.At 11:00 pm everything was calm. aamir amd I went outside and saw some neighbors there. A few trees of our neighbor (diagonal oposite) got downed. Steve our next door neighbor who was bare footed mentioned that some body got pool enclosure damaged and he got oneof his tree uprooted. The entrance of the subdivision got partially enclosed, however, one can get in and out.Aamir and started looking around the house. The screen of teh sliding glass door got blown away and was lying inthe yard.The thrust of the rain and wind was from teh back of the house. We found a bit of moisture on the tracks of sliding glass door, the widow sills of: one of the bay window, computer room and Ali's room. The sliding glass door in the master had also some leak at teh bottom seals and made about 1 to 2 inches of carpet wet.In the morning I drove around at about 7:15 am. I could spot at least 3 or 4 pool enclosure damaged. One fence broken a few trees down. The Huntington neighborhood entrance looked like a mess. I drove to work and made it at about 8:15. On my war Icould see may trees down. It appeared one big trees down and then for a few block all clear and then you see again one or a few trees down - perhaps localized gusts "minor tornadoes"Well, this is the report right now

Hot Enough For Ya?

Day one of teaching today.
The AC is off.
Yes, its 95 degrees outside and the AC is plum not working anymore.......
So I have thirteen students in a sweltering rainforest of sweat who are growing increasingly listless by the second.
I've never seen such a class that has no enthusiasm for anything. But I don't blame them, its the heat, not them.
I saw old students I taught last year. I saw one of my favorites who shall not be named:) but she was so adorable, and I missed my old class very much. They were a special class and not many will ever be like them again.
Anyways I am going to go now to shower, but I wanted to put an entry........................
I do dread the heat tommorow