Saturday, March 26, 2005

Not Everyone Is Happy For You

So here we go... Final Evaluation and this is the comment I get from my Boss sitting across the table from me with her pet spy who I will refer to as Dr. Psycho and the Assistant Principal who I'll refer to as "I -must -have -done -something- really- bad- in- a -previous -life- to- deserve -this - job".

Boss: The thing is, *I'm* happy you're in law school, but not everyone is happy for you.
Dr Psycho: "Well I hope no one thinks that person is me, It's not me!*
Silence as we all stare at her, did anyone say you were?

I dont know why I got as upset as I did about this discourse, they didnt give me a bad evaluation but it wasn't neccesarily a good evaluation.

I gave everything I had this year to be the best teacher I could be. I know I could have done more to help certain children in the classroom, but I did what I could, and its not even my interaction or my teaching abilities with the children that they critiqued, they critiqued the fact that I didnt interact with them in a way that they wanted to saying, that they supposed it was the "lawyer in me"

The Lawyer in me????
I never ever thought that they were jealous because its such a silly notion to think that someone would be jealous of someone else when they are just tyring to improve thesmellves. I had been told by people at work and outside of work that they sounded very jealous, but I never believed it until this meeting where these sorts of snide comments came out.

I can't wait till Iam on the opposite side of court facing them one day, now perhaps this truly won't happen... but it's the mental image that keeps me going... Sometimes when I was a kid and I got picked on. To keep me going I would have a mental image of me all grown up and the mean people sitting on a street corner miserable and penniless and I could walk past them feeling good that in the end I got my "revenge"..... it's sad that I ahave to resort to this sort of self-talk to help myself feel better.

In conclusion, if I let their jealousy and bitterness bring me down, they have acheived their ultimate purpose..... so must resist, must recapture the frustration and channel it into my studies.


Anonymous said...

Life is going to be full of sweet and sour experiences.
A new marketable skill can always be helpful.

Anonymous said...

As heard from Seinfeld, "living well is teh best revenge"...heh

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