So here we go... Final Evaluation and this is the comment I get from my Boss sitting across the table from me with her pet spy who I will refer to as Dr. Psycho and the Assistant Principal who I'll refer to as "I -must -have -done -something- really- bad- in- a -previous -life- to- deserve -this - job".
Boss: The thing is, *I'm* happy you're in law school, but not everyone is happy for you.
Dr Psycho: "Well I hope no one thinks that person is me, It's not me!*
Silence as we all stare at her, did anyone say you were?
I dont know why I got as upset as I did about this discourse, they didnt give me a bad evaluation but it wasn't neccesarily a good evaluation.
I gave everything I had this year to be the best teacher I could be. I know I could have done more to help certain children in the classroom, but I did what I could, and its not even my interaction or my teaching abilities with the children that they critiqued, they critiqued the fact that I didnt interact with them in a way that they wanted to saying, that they supposed it was the "lawyer in me"
The Lawyer in me????
I never ever thought that they were jealous because its such a silly notion to think that someone would be jealous of someone else when they are just tyring to improve thesmellves. I had been told by people at work and outside of work that they sounded very jealous, but I never believed it until this meeting where these sorts of snide comments came out.
I can't wait till Iam on the opposite side of court facing them one day, now perhaps this truly won't happen... but it's the mental image that keeps me going... Sometimes when I was a kid and I got picked on. To keep me going I would have a mental image of me all grown up and the mean people sitting on a street corner miserable and penniless and I could walk past them feeling good that in the end I got my "revenge"..... it's sad that I ahave to resort to this sort of self-talk to help myself feel better.
In conclusion, if I let their jealousy and bitterness bring me down, they have acheived their ultimate purpose..... so must resist, must recapture the frustration and channel it into my studies.