Catching up is hard when you're taking 18 credits. And a research paper. Because I went part-time last year I'm not ranked like the other 2L's. This means: no externships, no graduate research assistanceships, and no summer internships. I see my peers interviewing and discussing their part time jobs at top notch law firms and get absolutely overwhelmed because I feel I'm falling behind with all my "what if's" coming out to play... What if I wont get a job? What if I wasn't meant to be a lawyer? What if? Then suddenly the weekend seems incredibly short.
And then I read Baraka's post... and it's been on my mind all day. She talks about gratitude and her insight is deep. Tee discussed how a good day versus a bad day is all about perspective. I have infinite things to be thankful for as God says: And if all the trees on earth were pens, and the sea were ink, with seven more seas yet added to it, the words of God would not be exhausted, for verily God is almighty, wise. 31:27- Quran Indeed He is the paramount of wisdom, to trust in Him and his wisdom is to be free..
There is a familiar cliche that life is 10% what happens to you and 90% what you make of it. I can think about all the things weighing me down or I can think of all the beauty and truth God has blessed me with. I can cry about my job prospects or be happy that I got into law school in the first place. I can agonize if this was worth quitting my job for or thank God that I can afford to quit my job and go to school full time and that my husband supported this decision and puts no pressure on me whatsoever. I can panic that I have so much to study or be thankful that I have plenty of time to catch up. Maybe I'll make such good grades that next fall I'll have prospective employers bidding to take me on to their firm. I can choose to stress or I can choose to be proactive. It's up to me.
I have a lot to study and catch up on this weekend and the coming week. Please wish me luck, and thank you to those who helped me get perspective. As Ramadan quickly approaches I needed that! :)