Dumb Dumb Dumb

Exams begin in one week.
I am not ready.
I still don't understand everything.
Aren't I supposed to know everything now and just review?
I'm not supposed to still be confused?
I am really dumb.
I dont have enough time.
So to conclude, I'm dumb, dumb, dumb.

Hell has no fury like a student "scorned".

So for the past three days my students took exams called the CRCT (Statewide Georgia testing) on math, reading, language arts.

Basically seeing if I done good.

I can't believe its only 20 days left and I will not be their teacher anymore. I am going to miss Most of them so so dearly. It's awful that you can get so close to another person and then you just completely lose touch.... They weren't a job- they are wonderful people who I am lucky to have encountered. This year's crop was the most intelligent and insightful by far. So yes will miss MOST of them...

But unfortunately as of this week I have learned that I will not miss all of them. A young student (let's call her Kelly) bounced in as she normally does on Tuesday morning with a sweet smile and some strawberries. "I want to share these with the class", I told her that 8 strawberries were not enough to share with the class so she said "that's okay then, you can have them" Well, the next day I get a note from the mother very upset that she needs to speak with me.

Guess what this girl tells her mom? I snatched the strawberries from her and ate them despite her pleas otherwise. Kelly also told her mother that I scream at her, roll my eyes at her, and get in her face.

I was dumbfounded because I have given Kelly nothing but love. She is a very very needy child but I do try to give her the attenion she desperately covets because, well I care for her.. Well suddenly it dawned on me, and I asked the mother exactly how long this was going on, Well surprise surprise it was going on for 2 weeks. This is when the new Afghani girl from Pakistan began coming to me for help.

Thankfully her mother also reached the same conclusion that a green eyed monster had taken over Kelly and she decided to even the score by making things up about me. I am floored that a child could ocme up with such outrageous lies. The most infuriating part was at the end of the conversation with her mother, Kelly starts grinning trying to look cute and says ''oh Sorry MS. S..." SORRY? Sorry does not cut it.

So now again today she comes in with the same thing "My momma gonna come to talk to you about the strawberries". I have gone ahead and bought some strawberries. TAKE THEM. My goodness.

I have spent hundreds of dollars on my classroom, on cupcakes and cookies, on toys and treats for these children. I have given everything this year for them so that I don't let law school get in the way of giving them the best of me, and this is the thanks I get? Two weeks of a child not being the center of my universe, she decides to make me understand you dont do that to Kelly!

So a little disillusioned, very disappointed. I wish this had never happened but maybe it's God's way of telling me I'm better of going full time to law school so I dont have these kinds of things to distract me. Two jobs are draining and lately the drain is really being felt.

Thankfully I came home today to a very nice surprise, we got a package from Usma and Ayaz all the way in Brunei!!:). That was so incredibly exciting to see, and what was inside was even funnier. Three random DVD's (mothman prophecies, addicted to love, etc.), a Gillians game card (They had put money on it and its of no use in Brunei, it's like a Dave and Busters), their wedding video (that I had asked a long time ago to see), and a vase, and very touching card. They are such wonderful friends whom I miss so so much. Friends like them don't come around every day, it was so nice to hear from them... I appreciate that they put a silver lining on my cloudy day.

My Turkish Tulips

tulips 

Aren't my tulips the absolute cutest? :) As though I or the tulips had anything to do with their beauty.

Did you know tulips were first known to be found in Turkey? In Turkey around this time, April, they have a tulip festival... I take pride of my little peiece of Turkey in my front yard:).

Updates

A bunch of random things that I'm thinking about or are happening

1. I have exams in about two weeks and am very nervous. If you knew me around finals last semester then I apologize it's about to happen again :(.

2. The tulips have finally bloomed in the front yard. They're dark pink! :)

3. There is a new family from Islamabad, Pakistan at my school. They were afghan refugees there. The boy who is in fifth grade barely went to school because he had to help his family make a living by selling chai in the bazaars. They speak not a word of English, yet they're so bright, but even more important, so motivated. I taught the third grade girl the sounds of the alphabet in a matter of minutes which is no tribute to me, but to her brightness... my favorite part came at her joy in learning it upon which she said with sincere astonishment "If you keep teaching me like this then I will be a doctor before you know it!!" (in urdu ofcourse). Ofcourse the child is a true desi because when i asked her "oh you want to be a doctor?" and she replied, "well ofcourse, either that or an engineer!"

4. Very big news for me, I am becoming an "idealistic vegeteration". It all started last Saturday when we went out for coffee with some people in town for job interviews and the topic of meat came up..... well they told me some interesting stuff (I wont gross anyone out, if you want to know more check this site out: http://www.organicconsumers.org/madcow/carnivore011405.cfm, there is also an FDA website which wil be forthcoming).... and I'm definintely becoming an idealistic vegetarian. This means that I'm going to make my diet at least 96% veggie if not more. I will maybe eat it once a month if its one of two particular dishes I dont think I could part with (Cheesecake factorie's santa fe chicken salad and haleem) but aside from that nothing else tempts me anymore after my research. Any comments on this? I'm curious about it.

Well back to the books:)

Why are you so mean?

I remember one time my mother stopped a very mean DMV employee in her tracks when she interrupted her and simply asked her: Why are you so mean?

I still wonder what (let's call her Bertha) thought about my mother's question... "hmm why *am* I so mean" because after the question she grudgingly showed quiet respect...

I want to ask Dr. Psycho (the pet spy of my boss)and my certifiably manic boss: Why are you so mean?

Today at our impromptu staff meeting she said (and as Dave Barry would say "I'm not making this up folks") "For a moment of silence let's think about honoring authority, how you need to respect authority and not question it. Just as a wife obeys her husband, you too must obey authority. Each of us has issues and if I mention your issues don't get defensive, just accept it. Also don't even think about complaining about me to the school board. I will find out who called and we will have words."

I wash I had the courage to ask "Why are you so mean"

Spring Break is Over

*Sigh*

It's over, over, over.... and I'm sad, sad, sad.

Yes, I know, Aisha you got spring break from your JOB. How ungrateful can one be??

BUT I HAD SUCH PLANS!!!

I work full time and go to school practically full time, its very rare when I have the one small thing that is priceless for a reason: TIME.

My plan was to study as hard as I could to get as much done as possible but that somehow did not happen. I envisioned ten hour days, getting up at 7:00am and working till 7:00pm.... hmmm

The bed was just too soft, told me "stay! stay!" --so I did.... I was pretty good about the TV thing by not getting sucked into my usual vices of daytime television like All My Children etc (which nothing has changed since December..... DECEMBER!!)

But to resolve my cognitive dissonance perhaps my goals were too lofty... for example
Read Contracts Hornbook, sounds pretty easy right? But the book is 800 pages. Come on! And when there are fourteen of such "things to do", its an accomplishment when each one is done, but still the fact that all arent crossed out on my list really disappoints me.

I did have some fun, Kashif and I went to the Dogwood festival in peidmont park, which was very lovely since the weather was great, and I love to look at small town artwork. I also got to see the Ansley Park area which makes your heart hurt by how beautiful the landscape and the homes are. That is my dream neighborhood, here's hoping the books I plan to write this summer make me the next JK rowlings so I can move there :).

But I couldnt help nostalgically thinking about how this time last year we were drinking apple tea while sitting across from the Blue Mosque..... I miss Turkey! *That* is a good spring break. Alas!

(I have pictures from the trip here: http://www.imagestation.com/album/index.html?id=2133534686)



Turkey's Aegean Sea 




Blue Mosque 

Telepathy

So we went to get our taxes done and as we sat there, I glanced at Kashif and he nodded. I smiled in agreement. Then I realized... we hadn't said anything at all!!

So later, as we drove to the Dogwood festival, I asked him. Kashif, what were you nodding at in there. And he responded, well you were saying that you wish our tax preparor wasn't Indian because you can't speak Urdu with the freedom of knowing no one knows what yo'ure saying.

Woahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... How'd you get that from a glance? It wasn't like the context would even imply it, or that I gave a particular frustrated look that would give it away.

Lately this happens a lot more, where I'll be sitting around thinking something completely random, and he'll know what I was thinking, or I'll complete a sentence of his, and not a predictable sentence.... He used to have a blast getting me to fall for things with his poker face, but he can't do that anymore because I automatically know if its a joke or not.

I have (I dont know if I still have) this with my brother, where I might look at a girl playing with her pet cat and think about the fact that movie is due next week, and he'll suddenly say "A movie is due next week!"..... But its been happening with us for so many years, its just an odd but normal quirk of our interaction....I assumed genetics was linking our neurons to think in the same quirky manner..

Now is 2 1/2 years enough to start being able to read each others minds? When does telepathy between couples begin?

Interestingly since we've caught on to it, we consciously try to guesss what the other is thinking, and THAT has definetly proven NOT to work!
I just hope the next step isn't that we'll start looking like each other too!!!
;-)


July 4, 2002 

Rest In Peace

I saw flags flying at half mast the other day and felt a great sadness at the passing of Pope John Paul. I'm not Catholic but the passing of a good person is always a sad moment. Pope John Paul was the first Pope to visit a Musjid, and to apologize for the Crusades. He spoke against the war in Iraq. We need more people in the world of all religions, races and ethnicities who are good and kind. The loss of any good person leaves the world a little worse off than it was when they were a part of it. And for that I Grieve.


Pope 

I am man, hear me roar!

This is from Sunday's picnic at Stone Mountain. Kashif and the guys decided to see who could do the most pull ups. I was impressed, proof that Kashif is a strapping young man! ;-) 

Seasons a-changin

"And after every hardship 

Comes Great Ease" Surah 94 Quran 

A tree from my back yard the top picture is the tree during the January icestorm and the bottom one is from this past week as spring fever attacks.... made me think of this ayat from the Quran. Just as God says in the Quran his signs are everywhere for us to see and appreciate.

What is she thinking?

What is she thinking?

Updates

1) Checked the moot court competetitors for the next round and was not one of the 16. Shouldnt have expected it because I'm one of over 200 in the 1L class, but still I didnt think I did SO bad.... insh'allah I did decently. But still slightly bummed.

2) Went to get a trim, left with ten inches off my hair. I have short hair now. That's not me. I think I was in shock now but now am really sad. At least the hair went to locks of love or kids with cancer to get a wig...

3) Bought Icecream for Kashif, Girlscout thin mint Edy's... and found it was low fat. So that's a great surprise!

4) Spring break is here for work so now I have a chance to catch up on my studying. AHHH. So much to do, and even though I should be elated that the break is here, I just don't feel elated. Maybe b/c I know its a chance for me to catch upon my studying and that is no fun....

5) Quick Movie Reviews:
a) Closer: Yawn
b) Maria Full of Grace: WOW (Wow in a good way)

You Smart Like Harry Potter

Two second graders get into a slugfest on the bus....

Asked to explain why:

Osman: HE SAID I WAS AS SMART AS A HAIRY POTTY
Amar: I SAID HE WAS AS SMART AS HARRY POTTER

Me: Osman, Harry Potter is a character in a book who is very smart and talented.

Osman: .... oh....

Culture Clash :) Paradigm Shift :)