Aamir
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Thanks to you.
Dear Aamir, baby brother, this was your highschool graduation. May 25th 2:00pm, we waited in line in the hot sun, which earned the "Sunshine State" its title. You're the last in the family to graduate highschool. The baby is no longer, objectively, a baby. I say objectively because in our eyes you always will be.
Here are some words of advice that I have learned since highschool graduation:
1. Within you are the seeds of greatness but its caretaker is you. Despite your surroundings, which certainly can help, ultimately the results will help or hurt only you. Young redwoods use sunlight so efficiently that they can grow even in deep shade. But with full sunlight and moist soil, a redwood sapling can grow more than 6 feet in a single season. Choose your surroundings, your friends, carefully.
2. Patience is difficult but important. Remember, weeds can grow in seconds, but the Redwoods take centuries.
3. Every minute you put off till tommorrow will sooner or later become the present. Get the important stuff done sooner- not later.
4. No one will place a higher worth on you than you place upon yourself. Sometimes you will feel its foolish to believe in your own intelligence or creativity. But you have to be your own biggest fan, ultimately, no one else can do this for you.
5. Get advice from those who've been there and done that. Dont' take it for gospel necessarily, but take it into serious consideration. Some of us OLD FOLKS have learnt a thing or two from our mistakes. Learn them from us if you can instead of the hard way.
6. We use less than 10% of your brains. Strive to break the record through Hard Work. Even the most intelligent people in the world will not succeed without hard work. Hard work is important miracle gro for the seeds of greatness within you.
7. EVERYTHING is a choice. You choose everything. You don't have to resign yourself to do anything. This sounds so simple but it took me years to understand it. Once you learn it, you'll learn freedom.
8. "Move- but do not move the way fear moves you"- Rumi
I hope what I say, you read. And I hope it is at least of comfort that a sister took the time to write this to you. You must be special indeed. :)
Monday, May 23, 2005
Things that are wrong
An eight year old selling chai in a bazaar in Pakistan.
An eighty year old bagging my groceries in Publix.
An eighty year old bagging my groceries in Publix.
Friday, May 20, 2005
It's Over
Today was the last day of school.
I will not miss Ms. Manic Depressive
I will not miss Dr. Psycho.
I will not miss mindless paperwork.
I will not miss waking up at 6am and coming home at 10pm.
I will miss my children.
GOD I am going to miss those kids.
Today when they sat on the floor awaiting their dismissal procedure a huge gulp dropped from my heart to my stomach. I remember hugging Shayla and listened when she didn't understand why her mom drank so much and lay in bed all day. Or when after I lectured them on HOW IMPORTANT it was not to hit each other, Laura raised her hand and asked if husbands can hit wives. Gosh, my kids have been through so much. Or even more insightful was Sheldon who asked "If violence is not the way to solve a problem like you said, why are we doing a war in Iraq" (A second GRADER!) What do I respond with? "He didn't have me as his teacher to explain violence is not the answer"... Sheldon smiled, but ofcourse!
Forget giving the children active parents who will make sure the kid does his homework, of have consequences if he misbehaved, if these kids could just get equality in the public school system. WHAT I WOULD GIVE. And if you think that this is is just myth, that the rich schools get more funding and are catered to help the rich get richer, the mediocre stay so, and the poor to stay poor then read "Savage Inequalities" by John Kozol, and open your mind to the truth that is that children who need the most get the least from the public school system.
I remember Dr. Diane Silva,the University of Florida's supervising teacher for my internship asked us all at the end of of our assignments "Please at least give two years to an inner city school, they need highly educated teachers". How grateful am I that I did this. I can't imagine that I gave them more because they gave me so much. They have taught me about courage, about bravery, about being thankful and about passion.
I pray that the world always looks colorful to them, that they rise above their circumstances, go to college and become the doctors, judges, and lawyers, and artists that they excitedly drew pictures about during the school year.
I just hate this though. That I just have to leave them and say goodbye after a year of such intense conversations and lessons on so much more than the explicit curriculum. Perhaps they are doves you release and pray they find a happy place to land.
I will not miss Ms. Manic Depressive
I will not miss Dr. Psycho.
I will not miss mindless paperwork.
I will not miss waking up at 6am and coming home at 10pm.
I will miss my children.
GOD I am going to miss those kids.
Today when they sat on the floor awaiting their dismissal procedure a huge gulp dropped from my heart to my stomach. I remember hugging Shayla and listened when she didn't understand why her mom drank so much and lay in bed all day. Or when after I lectured them on HOW IMPORTANT it was not to hit each other, Laura raised her hand and asked if husbands can hit wives. Gosh, my kids have been through so much. Or even more insightful was Sheldon who asked "If violence is not the way to solve a problem like you said, why are we doing a war in Iraq" (A second GRADER!) What do I respond with? "He didn't have me as his teacher to explain violence is not the answer"... Sheldon smiled, but ofcourse!
Forget giving the children active parents who will make sure the kid does his homework, of have consequences if he misbehaved, if these kids could just get equality in the public school system. WHAT I WOULD GIVE. And if you think that this is is just myth, that the rich schools get more funding and are catered to help the rich get richer, the mediocre stay so, and the poor to stay poor then read "Savage Inequalities" by John Kozol, and open your mind to the truth that is that children who need the most get the least from the public school system.
I remember Dr. Diane Silva,the University of Florida's supervising teacher for my internship asked us all at the end of of our assignments "Please at least give two years to an inner city school, they need highly educated teachers". How grateful am I that I did this. I can't imagine that I gave them more because they gave me so much. They have taught me about courage, about bravery, about being thankful and about passion.
I pray that the world always looks colorful to them, that they rise above their circumstances, go to college and become the doctors, judges, and lawyers, and artists that they excitedly drew pictures about during the school year.
I just hate this though. That I just have to leave them and say goodbye after a year of such intense conversations and lessons on so much more than the explicit curriculum. Perhaps they are doves you release and pray they find a happy place to land.
Thursday, May 19, 2005
A True Desi Never Smiles
My best friend
This is the sweet beautiful and brave Afghani refugee I talk about to absolutely everyone. She really is a sweet girl but is true to the implicit pakistani "creed" of "thou shalt not smile when thou art infront of a camera". Give her some time she'll learn to grin from ear to ear for the camera:).
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Why Dave Chappelle Never Talks About Being Muslim... as told to Time Magazine...
"I don't normally talk about my religion publicly because I don't want people to associate me and my flaws with this beautiful thing. And I believe it is a beautiful religion if you learn it the right way. It's a lifelong effort. Your religion is your standard. - Chappelle
The Day The TV Died
Summer break is coming up and ofcourse since I'm quitting my job next Monday, the car decides to break down and need pricey repairs, and I was still keeping a chipper attitude until yesterday at 6:46pm.
That is the day the TV died.
Our beautiful silver flat screen SONY wega TV. It's barely two years old and it's DEAD. I wasn't anywhere close to it, it was just on. Everyone Loves Raymond. All of a sudden as I stand in the kitchen... Kashif just came home from work.... and it began to turn on and off, on and off.... now it won't turn off unless I unplug it. The top right hand corner has the channels changing every two seconds, and you can't change channels without it requiring complicated maneuvers and then of its own volition after about 20 minutes the channel changes anyhow.....
So I called the Sony service center and it will cost about $175...
*sigh* tis a sad day in this little house.
That is the day the TV died.
Our beautiful silver flat screen SONY wega TV. It's barely two years old and it's DEAD. I wasn't anywhere close to it, it was just on. Everyone Loves Raymond. All of a sudden as I stand in the kitchen... Kashif just came home from work.... and it began to turn on and off, on and off.... now it won't turn off unless I unplug it. The top right hand corner has the channels changing every two seconds, and you can't change channels without it requiring complicated maneuvers and then of its own volition after about 20 minutes the channel changes anyhow.....
So I called the Sony service center and it will cost about $175...
*sigh* tis a sad day in this little house.
Monday, May 16, 2005
"Just remember in the winter far beneath the winter snow lies a seed that with the sun's love in the spring becomes the rose"
Maybe this post should be titled "Ode to a Rose" :)
Some of you may recall last May a pesky weed crept up, full of throrns that I fought with every week. Each week I would pull it, each week it grew thornier than before. Finally I gave up... and in a week it became a beautiful rose.
Can you tell by the way that I'm from Florida and am beside myself at the beauty of spring?
Voila..
Some of you may recall last May a pesky weed crept up, full of throrns that I fought with every week. Each week I would pull it, each week it grew thornier than before. Finally I gave up... and in a week it became a beautiful rose.
Can you tell by the way that I'm from Florida and am beside myself at the beauty of spring?
Voila..
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Law School- If I had it to do over again....
Criminal law just ended and I cannot believe one year of law school is over just like that... a handful of exams of open ended essays to determine whether I done good, or done not so good.... But here is some advice, I dont know how handy it will be for non Georgia State Law Students but it's what I got..
1. A good motivated study group is not just important- it's invaluable.
2. Don't go part-time to law school- unless ofcourse you're like Edison who worked on only 3-4 hours a sleep and invented, well, the lightbulb.
3. Unless the class tells you the cases will need to be referred to on exams, don't focus so much on them. Focus on the rules and the reason for the rules.
4. I learned from one book how to brief and remember your cases, read the case and draw a picture (yes a a real doodle) summing the story up. It will help you when you go back to review what the cases discussed. This REALLY works.
5. Compete against yourself. Stop thinking about the curve. Thinking about the curve has definetly not helped... As study buddy Drew pointed out, just be glad you're in the curve at all.... Focusing on the learning and now how well your peers are learning will keep fragile nerves in check- maybe your cool demeanor will intimidate the "competition"
6. Have a "me" day. Just like your body needs breaks between difficult weight training sessions, your mind needs a break too. Watch office space on repeat, go to the beach, say hello to your spouse, something anything not study related.
7. #5 being said, once time is gone it ain't going back. Don't forget...
8. Keep on truckin' even when its hard....as I read on one proff's website "If you're already in hell you may as well keep going" and "If you fail to prepare, prepare to fail"... truer words never spoken.
9. Work on your outline after each chunk of learning material is taught. I wish I had consistently done this.
9. Take your exam on laptop! If this option is available, TAKE ADVANTAGE. I cannot explain the difference of being able to delete, cut and paste, etc. that you just can't do on paper/pen. If you think you're not a good typer, take a class, practice, but make sure you do take it on laptop!
10. Oral arguments are not as bad as they seem. I dreaded this more than most of law school. It was only 10% of a 3 credit hour class's grade in Georgia State University's School of Law, and once I did it, I realized I worried a lot for nothing. Keep perspective and worry about what's important. This being said
11. Don't let RWA (Reading, Writing, Argumentative Speaking class) take over your life. Seriously. It's the only class in law school that you turn things in through the year, so a lot of times people end up forgoing stuff for other (yes, more important) classes to do this. It's only a 3 credit hour class. Your other ones are 6. Neglecting it would also be a BIG mistake, but letting it get to the point that you are letting other things slide for it--- not good.
And that's all I've got for now folks....:)
1. A good motivated study group is not just important- it's invaluable.
2. Don't go part-time to law school- unless ofcourse you're like Edison who worked on only 3-4 hours a sleep and invented, well, the lightbulb.
3. Unless the class tells you the cases will need to be referred to on exams, don't focus so much on them. Focus on the rules and the reason for the rules.
4. I learned from one book how to brief and remember your cases, read the case and draw a picture (yes a a real doodle) summing the story up. It will help you when you go back to review what the cases discussed. This REALLY works.
5. Compete against yourself. Stop thinking about the curve. Thinking about the curve has definetly not helped... As study buddy Drew pointed out, just be glad you're in the curve at all.... Focusing on the learning and now how well your peers are learning will keep fragile nerves in check- maybe your cool demeanor will intimidate the "competition"
6. Have a "me" day. Just like your body needs breaks between difficult weight training sessions, your mind needs a break too. Watch office space on repeat, go to the beach, say hello to your spouse, something anything not study related.
7. #5 being said, once time is gone it ain't going back. Don't forget...
8. Keep on truckin' even when its hard....as I read on one proff's website "If you're already in hell you may as well keep going" and "If you fail to prepare, prepare to fail"... truer words never spoken.
9. Work on your outline after each chunk of learning material is taught. I wish I had consistently done this.
9. Take your exam on laptop! If this option is available, TAKE ADVANTAGE. I cannot explain the difference of being able to delete, cut and paste, etc. that you just can't do on paper/pen. If you think you're not a good typer, take a class, practice, but make sure you do take it on laptop!
10. Oral arguments are not as bad as they seem. I dreaded this more than most of law school. It was only 10% of a 3 credit hour class's grade in Georgia State University's School of Law, and once I did it, I realized I worried a lot for nothing. Keep perspective and worry about what's important. This being said
11. Don't let RWA (Reading, Writing, Argumentative Speaking class) take over your life. Seriously. It's the only class in law school that you turn things in through the year, so a lot of times people end up forgoing stuff for other (yes, more important) classes to do this. It's only a 3 credit hour class. Your other ones are 6. Neglecting it would also be a BIG mistake, but letting it get to the point that you are letting other things slide for it--- not good.
And that's all I've got for now folks....:)
Friday, May 06, 2005
Monday, May 02, 2005
My Series of Unfortunate Events
Lemony Snicket's book four says an optimist is the type of person, if his left arm got cut off in a logging accident would say "well at least now no one will ask me if I'm right handed or left handed" instead of the normal reaction of "Ahhhh I got my arm cut off!!!!" I kind of had to use that kind of thought process to cope with the fact that I couldnt take my exam on the laptop today and had to handwrite it.
In times of stress, I don't like routine I NEED routine. So for exam day I wore my favorite jeans, my favorite slippers, hair up in a ponytail (like Violet Bauedelaire! but I did do it before her), gotta chew gum (because researchers say it helps your memory), and gotta practice for the exam with the same material you will take it. So if I take it with a pen I study w/ pen and paper. If I am going to take it on the computer, study for it on the laptop.... So up to the day of the exam I thought I was taking it on the laptop. So imagine my shock when three hours before the exam I find out that I CANNOT take it on the laptop like I planned. I felt like one of my students who was told because they didn't listen to the instructions for numbering the spelling test they would repeat the second grade... I was so upset I wept.... The problem is you have to handwrite the exam and this is a three hour exam. And not one of those three hour exams where you really just need one or two hours but they give three to give you all the time you need. No this is three hours of fast paced speed writing from START to FINISH. So I tried to conjure up all the reasons to be thankful (Well I've got my health)and got into the exam trying to not let it get to me. And while I think I didn't fail I know I had the potential to do get an A (i'm a far better typer) had my neurotic routine been met.....
But here's my Lemony Snickets optimistic trying to find the bright side: At least it will be over soon!
Lemony Snickets
Mi compadres!
****** UPDATE **********
Georgia State University's wonderful Dean Emanuel said we could take our next two exams on the laptop!!!!!!! Thank you Thank you! Thank you!
In times of stress, I don't like routine I NEED routine. So for exam day I wore my favorite jeans, my favorite slippers, hair up in a ponytail (like Violet Bauedelaire! but I did do it before her), gotta chew gum (because researchers say it helps your memory), and gotta practice for the exam with the same material you will take it. So if I take it with a pen I study w/ pen and paper. If I am going to take it on the computer, study for it on the laptop.... So up to the day of the exam I thought I was taking it on the laptop. So imagine my shock when three hours before the exam I find out that I CANNOT take it on the laptop like I planned. I felt like one of my students who was told because they didn't listen to the instructions for numbering the spelling test they would repeat the second grade... I was so upset I wept.... The problem is you have to handwrite the exam and this is a three hour exam. And not one of those three hour exams where you really just need one or two hours but they give three to give you all the time you need. No this is three hours of fast paced speed writing from START to FINISH. So I tried to conjure up all the reasons to be thankful (Well I've got my health)and got into the exam trying to not let it get to me. And while I think I didn't fail I know I had the potential to do get an A (i'm a far better typer) had my neurotic routine been met.....
But here's my Lemony Snickets optimistic trying to find the bright side: At least it will be over soon!
Lemony Snickets
Mi compadres!
****** UPDATE **********
Georgia State University's wonderful Dean Emanuel said we could take our next two exams on the laptop!!!!!!! Thank you Thank you! Thank you!
Sunday, May 01, 2005
Study Break
1. First exam tomorrow... am nervous, anxious and ready to be done with it. Memorized everything that we learned all year but somehow when I look at the practice exams I think- huh? Why can't law school be like med school where you just memorize and regugitate facts? Hope I'm not offending any of my doctor/med school friends... it's simply a matter of the grass being greener on the other side.
2. Abu came to visit. He was in town for a Georgia Tech conference. He spent the weekend with us and made about fifty dishes (as my students would shriek at this point.. that's..that's... an exxageration!) well yes, it is, but he made at least 5 which is something else, and would you know it that he's a good cook! Thank you abu jan.
3. Abu also laminated/framed a copy of my final article that I had written in 2002 for the orlando sentinel..... boy do i feel nostalgic about that. I really do need to write my book this summer.
4. Speaking of summer, in two weeks exams are over and when I think of May 13 (the day after my last exam)... I swear I hear music swelling and bright lights and doves chirping as they fly off in flocks.... I CAN'T WAIT.
5. Duluth made the news! The girl who mustve lost it briefly was jogging under 2 miles from my house. She disappeared and took a ride to New Mexico. Thank God she is not dead or strangled. But why is truth becoming more incredulous than fiction these days? It was fun to hear about my town on the news. "The citizens of Duluth are frantically combing the woods and holding prayer vigils" "the tight-knit community of Duluth"... by gosh it makes me feel a tad proud...
Duluths Runaway Bride
2. Abu came to visit. He was in town for a Georgia Tech conference. He spent the weekend with us and made about fifty dishes (as my students would shriek at this point.. that's..that's... an exxageration!) well yes, it is, but he made at least 5 which is something else, and would you know it that he's a good cook! Thank you abu jan.
3. Abu also laminated/framed a copy of my final article that I had written in 2002 for the orlando sentinel..... boy do i feel nostalgic about that. I really do need to write my book this summer.
4. Speaking of summer, in two weeks exams are over and when I think of May 13 (the day after my last exam)... I swear I hear music swelling and bright lights and doves chirping as they fly off in flocks.... I CAN'T WAIT.
5. Duluth made the news! The girl who mustve lost it briefly was jogging under 2 miles from my house. She disappeared and took a ride to New Mexico. Thank God she is not dead or strangled. But why is truth becoming more incredulous than fiction these days? It was fun to hear about my town on the news. "The citizens of Duluth are frantically combing the woods and holding prayer vigils" "the tight-knit community of Duluth"... by gosh it makes me feel a tad proud...
Duluths Runaway Bride
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