Wednesday, February 08, 2006

A conversation I will never have...

Every day when I put my books in my locker, my lunch in the fridge and sit on the couch to review for class I see you and him. Last year I thought you were a student. But you never have a bookbag. or books. I see him in class, but not you. No, you always sit in the same chair glowing on his arrival and wilting at his departure. Once I studied in the lounge for four hours, the entire time you sat by yourself, hunched over, looking down, flipping a magazine or playing with your cell phone. Four hours! Is this a probation requirement? Are you unable to find work? Does he force you to come? Or are you jealous and keeping watch? Is it wrong for me to feel sorry for you? Afterall, what's wrong for me may be right for you. Don't you have the right to keep him company between classes and read US Weekly? But I can't help but think of what some would give to have the choices you are choosing not to take. Then again- I don't know you. Perhaps you're an artist waiting for inspiration or a writer seeking a muse. But its over a year now, day after day.... though I am a random soul in the masses, and though my eye may have accidentally caught yours only once I wish I could ask you, Why do you stay in prison when the door is wide open?

33 comments:

Baji said...

Hmmmm. Its a mystery! Strange, indeed. I prob. would have asked by now.

mystic-soul said...

Very well written...Classic.

Many questions just poped in mind but will not ask. The beauty is to keep the mystry the way it is.

(Maza aa gaya)

mayya said...

offer him/her half of your sandwich and start a random conversation :)

TwinTopaz said...

who is he and who is him??

momyblogR said...

Yeah, I'm with baji...I'm WAY to curious to not ask. I mean that four hour deal would have killed me, lol.

Than again, maybe not knowing and just watching is more interesting. But a YEAR? I just don't know. :):)

Raheel said...

great writing expression. yes sometimes we just underestimate ourselves and then all our potentials and dreams also hit rock bottom.

say what? said...

Love of the misery. It develops once you get miserable and then when happiness strikes, it seems a disturbance. So the person seeks the asylum of misery to keep on doing the same thing he has grown fond of.

:))

Loved it.

Southern Masala said...

Interesting. It reminds me of the many girls that I went to undergrad with who I knew were getting their MRS degree, and diamond dolls and soccer sidekicks? They were these girls who would bring the baseball and soccer players presents before their games and cheer for them and basically follow them around hoping that one of them would start dating them. We girls on the soccer team always made fun of them, but I think we were secretly jealous becauase noone brought anything for us.

wayfarer said...

strange indeed...but great writing!

Chai Anyone? said...

i agree with mayya. offer him/her something, ask the time, strike up a random conversation and you may get a completely unexpected answer. perception vs. reality.

story was lovely though. :)

Aisha said...

Hey everyone! I actualy wrote this in the morning when I was sitting right across from her. It's funny how people are we can affect someone or make them think never realizing it. Chai Anyone, Mayya, Mommyblogr, Baji, maybe I should just ask her :) But if you met her you'd understand why I didn't...

Mystic thanks :)

TwinTopaz, a classmate...

Raheel, soeties we dont know what we could become underestimation indeed...

TDH: yes, we can grow accustomed to the way things are. Change is scary.

Southern Masala us ed majors were always accused of pursuing MRS degrees :) But yeah you know I never thought of it like that. Maybe she has that mentality. I thought more that she was extremely needy...

Wayfarer, thanks :)

Southern Masala said...

hmmm, obviously i haven't seen her, but maybe she knows shes got a good thing going with a lawyer to be? I never thought that about the ed majors at my school, i never really associated with a particular degree. More with the type of girl who would not study or not go to class because she had to do something to take care of her boyfriend, ie do his laundry, cook for him, take care of him when was too hung over...
on the other hand, some people just like to do these things. there is this girl that goes to the med school here and is engaged to a law student. everyday she brings him lunch and sits and studies at the law school. i don't think he ever goes to the med. school to bring her lunch or study there.

Reza said...

Do ask her. I think the prison door is something she doesnt want to walk out of :). There are times when your more than happy being in prison.

Baraka said...

Intriguing!

Any decisions on travel yet?

Tee said...

Wow, how sad. I wish we knew what was going on!

Aisha said...

Souther Masala I know exactly what you're talking about. Jeez I lost so many friends to that sort of obsession.

Reza: maybe I will :) she seems like a bird caged so long she doesnt realize she can fly out.

Baraka: Ive sort of made a decision... I will know more by the end of Februray :) It depends on job opportunities in the city.

Tee Yeah me too! That's me Mrs. Hoover the nosy seat neighbor :(

Reza said...

Maybe she doesn't want to fly out Aisha? Ever think about that? :D. You know i've heard some birds don't want to leave their owners. And will willingly go out the cage and then back in.

Shabina said...

This was intriguing. I definitely would like to strike up a convo with this chick.

Perhaps we would not speak of prisons - not on our first meeting, anyway - but her perspective would probably still be more of a revelation than her silence.

Aisha said...

Reza, yes perhaps, but is that a good thing? :)

Shabs, I just read this and started laughing out loud... ok, I agree, we shall not speak of prisons on the first meeting :)... she seems so quiet and passive I dont know what she'd do if I burst out with that for an introduction :) LOL :)

Champ - Love Hound said...

A little conversation 'll not be so bad. Just try it, Though hidden secrets 've their own Charm. *Smiles*

God bless you....

Mia said...

Wonderful. It reminds me of my much written friend Angela.

Reza said...

I don't know how a bird thinks. SO I woudnt know if its a good thing or not. Maybe it loves being in the cage and the attention she gets from her captor? Who knows. :).

Maleeha said...

Never say never...you should have a conversation with her, if you're comfortable with it. Though like what some other commentators are saying, she might be happy with what she has. Maybe her boyfriend/husband is really grateful for her attention and appreciates her. Hmm, I dont know if I would actually talk to her since I'm too shy, but you should if you're that curious :)

Emory said...

I guess I don't know why you wouldn't talk with her. Some of the best conversations you will ever have are with complete strangers.

I cannot tell you the number of times I have had conversations with people I have never met before.

Including......ur..... in here!

little Princess said...

wow. "Why do you stay in prison when the door is wide open?"

marvelous! bravo!great!

Aamina said...

Not sure what to say to this, but nice post.

FM said...

Its because of the heart :)

with regards
FM

Aisha said...

Boxin thanks for the insight

Mia thanks!

Reza, I agree.. psychoanalyzing a bird's life is a futile venture :)

Maleeha i think like you i'm a little shy but yes maybe one day :) the reflection was just to think about her life... just wondering... but maybe i will talk to her...

Emory, its a "you have to be here" to understand why I probably wouldn't. Maybe I will...

Little Princess, welcome :) thanks for your praise on that stanza at the end. It's a quote from Rumi. It's powerful isnt it?

Aamina thanks for posting

FM, what do you mean?

~ruthie said...

I'm one of those people that after, i dont know, the first month or so, would have been talking to her. or not, if i were you and used that time to study-don't want to encourge the lonely girl to talk when work needs to be done. beautifully written, though. i think we have all witnessed this pheonomenon in our own lives at some point.

Suleman said...

I like that. :)

Aisha said...

Hi Ruthie, no it wasn't a "I'm too busy for you" situation at all. I guess I didn't do a great job describing her or the situation. I *could* go up to her, but I can't. Its not because I have better things to do.... really, the questions i posed are just for me to reflect on what her life might be like. Just that. An observation of another person.

Suleman, welcome, and thanks :)

mayya said...

and to think that female has no idea that one of her daily routine actions if being under so much discussion hehe

Aisha now you really have to talk to her ;)

Viks said...

Yeah - few things seem so abmiguous and murky that they may be nonsensical to others, but somewhere along the line they may make complete sense.

You know, just like ::: "I like to be bored, it makes me appreciate happiness"

Or to other extend ::: "I love you because you are a mystery - a mystery which means everything till it's a mystery"

E X A C T L Y . . . the same way I make no sense here - point proven ;)

My personal opinion: I think you shouldn't talk to her - don't ask me why!

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