In college, staying up all night to study for finals was a breeze. Me and whichever friend was down for studying would pick up 2-3 ice cold Frappuchinos and sneak up to the 24/7 Blue Room. Medical students were the only ones worthy of studying in these gallowed halls which were really was just a drab, depressing square of a room. But it was silent as compared to the undergrad library, simply a place to socialize and make new friends. Though the blue room was only for medical students my desi status left the MD status presumed. We heard legends of campus police coming to inspect ID's and kick intruders out, infact I swear just like I may have seen bigfoot, I think I saw a girl once pack up her bags and whimper as she was escorted out of the blue room trailed by two officers, to this day it bewilders my common sense, as with the rampant underage drinking on campus, they felt their resources better suited to find the bandit kids yearning to study in a quiet library? Beuarocracy at its finest. If the blue room seemed too risky, we'd tone down our Mission Impossible mindset and head to Denny's where the waiters for some unexplainable reason always gave us free unlimited coffee and occassional icecreams.
No matter what, when we needed to, we stayed up through the night, pause every so often for a comparative gripe, study some more. So when law school began I had no doubt what was to come. the late night studying, the coffee pot on auto. And yet. Its not happening. Come 11pm my eyes start shutting, my mind getting foggy and I want nothing more than to crawl into bed.
I thought Coffee would be my savior allowing me back to my sleepless yet studious nights. But Coffee makes me jittery and morphs me into a person I scarcely recognize. Not that I've ever been drunk but I feel like I can relate to the morning after regret from my jittery oober hyper state of mind. It's amusing- so I'm told. Once as a teacher high on coffee at a staff meeting, every time the principal requested a volunteer my hand shot up with an eager grin "Stay afterschool to sort files? Redo all the bulletin boards on the fifth grade wing? " Super! This became a habit as I'd stop and get the brewing coffee on my way to the staff meetings until Kate intervened diverting me from the teacher's lounge to ensure my sobriety at the meetings knowing full well that high on coffee one day, the next day I'd look bewildered at all the assignments strewn across my desk with just the slightest foggy recollection that it was all my own doing. I guess my point is Coffee don't particularly care for me, nor I it. But I drink it cuz it works and when it works I'm typing at 100 words a minute, reading 40 pages an hour, cooking dinner and straightening my hair all at the same time (allright I sorta stretched it there with the hair straightening- that requires absolute concentration ofcourse) And then I crash. And tis a long way down I tell ye. Long. Long. Long. Way down.
Tea is better as far as jittery-ness goes since years of drinking it leaves it with just the slighest effect. But even with chai I can't shake the tiredness. Friday I think I drank approximately 1.5 gallons of tea at Cafe Istanbul. Mustafa the owner kept pouring more despite protests, "Come on! Drink it!" pouring more and pushing it my way. I'm a sucker for peer pressure of the chai sort. You'd think 1.5 gallon (give or take) would make me high as a kite yet ten minutes later I was leaning on Kashif feeling more drowsy than before.
Tonight again I sit here, my book before me, my fingers poised on the laptop I want nothing more than to go to sleep. Where did old Aisha go? or is the new old Aisha the problem? What happened to the studying all night? Is it lack of friends sharing a common goal? The lack of rush from rebelliously studying in the blue room? Or that the only other person who lives in this house is fast asleep upstairs under the covers and the sleepy aura of the home affects me. Who knows... back to them books *sigh*