Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Bereft

Today I went to the bank to put my wedding ring away before leaving for Rio on Friday. Its amazing how an inanimate object attached to an appendage can mean so much. I'm not a "girlie girl" wearing oodles of jewlery and tons of makeup but I always wear my ring. Today as I took it off and it made a soft clang against the metalic box it seemed...sad. Though it stands for no more than a ring given by someone I love more now than the day it found its way upon my finger its also been a silent witness to the trials and tears, laughter and late night meals. Its watched silently, judging not. And as I tucked it away and turned the key, sitting in my car instinctively rolling a finger over where it used to be I missed it feeling strangely bereft.

31 comments:

Dil-E-Nadaan said...

Aisha, I just did the same thing with my engagement ring a week ago. And I felt exactly the same way! I keep grabbing on to my hands now fearing I lost it, then reminding myself I put it away. But iA us putting them away is better then them getting stolen this summer...when do you leave? I head out on Thursday. I can't wait to hear your stories.

Aisha said...

Nermeen honestly that makes me feel so much better, thanks for sharing! Part of me when I put it away wondered. hmm am I just being paranoid, but like you said its better safe than sorry. I leave on Friday! Will you have internet access to write about your trip? How long is it? I am eager to learn of it I'm sure it will be absolutely fascinating! We have internet cafe's in rio so insh'allah I plan to keep a travelogue of my trip. I hope you can too but in any case best of luck on your trip I hope its fulfilling and provides a path to more opportunities in the future!

mystic-soul said...

It just tell me, how lucky Kashif is !!!

Just me said...

Wise choice to put it away safely.

:)

Dadoji said...

I know how it feels.

Every night, just after hitting the sack the Saint used to get up and switch on the lights to check that her ring was secure on the table. It only stopped after 7 years when she had to take if off during our first pregnancy.

Tee said...

Beautifully written.

I don't wear jewelery much at all, either - the only thing I always have on is my wedding ring and I feel naked without it.

Last year my ring broke. I kept getting it fixed and it kept breaking. It was not a thick band and I'm just really rough on my belongings. We put our rings in our fire safe and got a new set of standard thick gold bands. At first I felt sad about it. It didn't feel right. That first ring had been there from the beginning and I wanted it to be there until the end... I'm OK now though. For me now the ring is just more of a symbol and reminder of my promise to always love and honor my husband. It's like a sticky note that's always with me saying "Behave!" LOL.

I never would have thought to put my ring in a safety deposit box before a trip. Are you afraid of it being stolen? ... Well, as you said, "better safe than sorry".

A travelogue? I'm licking my chops. LOL. I'm remembering back to your entries about Turkey and I can't wait to read about your trip to Brazil.

In case I forget to say so later, I pray that God keeps His hand over you on this trip - that He protects you and makes possible your safe return. That He allows your life and heart to be touched and for you to touch the lives and hearts of others.

Aisha said...

Mystic yes he is lucky! ;0)

Rosie, yes:( dont like it but I did it.

Dadou, I heard in pregnancy its impossible to wear, who is the Saint?

Tee- yes naked! it's a weird feeling isnt it? LOL @ calling it a sticky note reminder. It can be that too. At least thats why I'm glad hubby wears it as well :) THANK YOU for your well wishes Tee that means a lot. btw- we had to buy a mini portugese-english translation book for our trip but your gift helped take care of that :-) So thanks for that!

momyblogR said...

A girlie-girl I'm not either but I'm NEVER without my wedding band. I seldom wear my engagement ring but the band ALWAYS.

For me, it's a simple daily reminder of who will be coming home to me every evening. My guy!!

Gosh, I love being married!!

Chai Anyone? said...

hmm. i agree.

Mia said...

you remind me of my mom and you've just inspired a post! I'll work on it tonight when I get home. Thanks!

Sobia said...

I don't wear a lot of jewelry either, but I never go out without my wedding ring...actually I wear the ring my husband gave me this year for Xmas and my birthday instead of my wedding band...it's not as expensive but it actually means more to me than the wedding band. When I look at the ring, I remember how sweetly it was given to me and it makes me smile. :) I also feel naked without it.

ASH said...

I left my ring at home one morning. I felt strange and "off" all day at work. You get used the weight of a thing after a while and not having it, however small, makes a difference.

Good luck with your trip to Brazil!

Aamina said...

Aw, that sounds so sweet.


Have fun on your trip, try to call me if you have a minute, we haven't been keeping up with our weekly calls =\

Aisha said...

Mommyblogr, me too :)

Chai :)

Mia really? can't wait to read it!

Sobia, aww I hope once things get less hectic at your house you can share the story of your ring. That sounds very sweet :)

Ash so proof that guys can feel that way too :)

Aamina yeah ive been thinking of you. call me if you want to tonight, i leave Friday :)

Minka said...

YOur guy sure is a lucky one.
Better safe than sorry, I would have to agree, although I never have worn a wedding ring to this day. The day I do, i hope I will be as happy with it as you are :)

Enyur said...

Aww...I know I don't wear a lot of jewelery either but I have this weird attachment with my grad ring (I really want to part from it now). Anyway, take lots and lots of pics that you can share with us miskeens :o)

Have a safe trip!!

Aisha said...

Minka, lol thanks :) Are rings not done in Iceland?

Enyur, I never got a grad ring. They were so pricey. Ic an see why you'd want to wear it all the time. Get your money's worth girl ;-). I will share pictures insh'allah! *gulp* I'm a little nervous :(

Muslim Mama said...

I feel a kind of fear when I do things like that...now don't get started on the islamic stand on superstition...I know , I know, but it just won't go away!

momyblogR said...

Came back to wish you well on your trip to Brazil! I hope you totally enjoy yourself. I know there is work involved but still, have a WONDERFUL trip.

I look so forward to reading about your journey.

Take good care and travel safe!!

:):)

Zak said...

One ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them..lol I was watching a bit of Lord of the Rings when i read this :p

Arianuz said...

Whoa ! this is interesting. My mom doesn't wear ring.

rehtwo said...

Like Enyur, I have a strange attachment to my class ring (for some unknown reason, it's a huge deal here...ok that "unknown reason" is "tradition" but blah)...goodness knows what attachment issues I will have when I actually do have an engagement/wedding ring. Have a wonderful time in Brazil! :-D

roora said...

yeah sob7an ALlah that we feel by this weight in fingers, and you do everything in your life with it. and when you get if off you feel weird. BTW why did you keep them away? can rings be lost while you are travelling and you are wearing them?

BBCD said...

:) you are a sweet heart arnt you, May Allah keep you both happy and together for life Inshallah.

have a great holiday x

Ah-muh-nuh said...

I know how u feel; it sucked taking my rings off three days after I got married when we left on our honeymoon!! :) Have a wonderful time in Rio.. :)

Champ - Love Hound said...

Well, you 're right about how does it feelm but the important thing is that those bonds tiein' the hearts can never be taken off. I hope your days in Rio 'll be joyful.

You asked me a question about dinner with Bush 'n' Musharaf, I was representin' a group of Moderate Believers. *Smiles*

God bless you....

Aisha said...

Muslim Mama- oh yes I am like that too its something to work on :)I didnt realize I was that way until it was so hard to take it off.

BBCD: Aww thanks sis :) Thanks.

Mommyblogr, thank you!!! :) I can't wait to share all about it.

Rehtwo, lol we should start a "I'm addicted to my ring" support group perhaps? :) But yeah if you're close to that ring wait till the wedding ring comes on :)

Zak- lol @ the Lord of the Rings comment. Tee hee :)

Roora, I've heard that its just a safety issue. You shouldnt wear flashy jewlery because it attracts would be muggers. I'd hate to risk that.

Arinuz, do Pakistanis wear rings for marriage? Their maybe a new trend perhaps due to the Western practice but I dont think my mom wore a wedding ring until a few years ago when my dad got it for her anniversary.

Ah Muh Nuh, so you can totally relate to me :)and thanks for the well wishes!

Champ, awww that's so nice!!!!! You're right, the bonds of the heart are stronger than the tangible :) great stuff. That's awesome you could meet the two presidents!

wayfarer said...

Mine's been more in a box than on my finger. :-( I finally got it resized though so now i can wear it again. That baby fat just won't go!

Chic Mommy said...

I never wear my wedding ring. My fingers became fat when I got pregnant and it never fit again. It's still too tight, but I'm too lazy to get it adjusted.

cncz said...

awww what a sweet post macha Allah
bereft is one of my favorite words.

I intentionally got a "cheap" ring (plain white gold band)...I think it is the growing up in New Orleans part in me.

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