Sunday, June 04, 2006

Peaks and Valleys

Its been a very long week that flew by quickly and I have a lot I could write about like the halfway homes we visited and the former ganster boy now reformed and soaping dishes in the sink with his flower apron or the fabulous eateries I discovered or boutique shopping and cute skirts but today is a valley among the peaks that classify Brazil to me and I need to let it out.

Today I again directly pointed to the item I wanted in a restaurant. They repeated my order as I placed my finger on the food and they bring me the more expensive item. I look at it confused and say no. I point to what I pointed to before. They nod and seem to say this is it. IT IS NOT WHAT I ORDERED. I changed rooms because my former room had a lot of issues but the new room does not have a direct line. Kashif calls and tells them the room number in Portugeese. Earlier my mom was able to connect speaking English now he rambles to Kashif in Portugeese and refuses to connect though Kashif is even using his portugeese phrase book. This cuts me off from my world at home. I understad that I am in a foreign country. I understand that they may not understand. But everytime there is a misunderstanding somehow I end up jipped. Dont know why it doesnt cut the other way. I sincerely believe that a lot of people play ignorant when in fact they are more aware then they act. I know htis because I dont speak Portugeese but hand gestures and a word here or there and expression gets me by in Brazil. Its convenient to stare blankly.

I miss cooking. I miss hot showers. I miss baked cheetohs. I miss cell phones and direct lines. And internet access that doesnt require a gym. Most of all I miss Kashif. I walk around Rio with my friends but he is notably absent. I wonder which direction to turn (for those who know me and understand my spatially challenged nature) and I cant help but think Kashif would know where to go. I miss having someone to come home to. The empty quiet apartment is getting old. A spouse is a quiet warm place to land where you dont have to worry about the next thing to say and whether it is witty or not, you can bring them home but not worry how the house looks or whether they will overstay their visit or whether you overstayed yours because they are your home.

Feeling a little ungrateful since I live in one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in South America and can see the slum favelas teetering over the hillsides but I think everyone can feel a little homesick sometimes.

14 comments:

Huda said...

So sorry you're feeling homesick. It must be hard, and particularly isolating, to leave a comfortable home and go somewhere where even basic communication is a struggle.

I thought you were cooking in your apartment? When does Kashif come to visit? And what is up with the guy refusing to connect Kashif to your room? Why does he care who calls you?

I hope you feel better soon, and these little wrinkles get smoothed out even sooner, insha'Allah. Do you still check your email? Have been wanting to email you, but I'm not sure how limited your limited Internet access is...

In the meantime, I'm sending hugs and duas your way!

mystic-soul said...

so r u there all summer?

Aisha said...

Hey huda thanks for the warm wishes. The gym i joined is connected to my apt so i check email about twice a day if I can which I usually can. Well I did cook once but the pans are very very bad. They are teflon but scratched up with stains and charred spots that I dont feel comfortable in cooking in them. Not just the cooking but going to the grocery store and recognizing things. Most things are different. Milk is not refrigirated. It~s at room temperature. Thins like that.

Mystic its only two more weeks. It was a four week program

Champ - Love Hound said...

My Dear! It's called Human Nature. You 're enjoyin' the beautiful Rio in one way but other way you miss alot of things too. I hope you 'll enjoy rest of your trip days fine 'n' safly be home. *Smiles*

God bless you....

Baraka said...

You're not ungrateful.

Homesickness is a form of gratitude, reminding us of all the blessings we have, have left behind, and insha-Allah will return to.

And a beloved & loving spouse is one of the greatest blessings of this world, turning this life into heaven.

Hugs,
Baraka

pixie said...

It is hard to be alone in a different country and I think they you are so brave for doing it. I hope that you enjoy the last few weeks that you have and the misunderstandings clear up!

Aisha said...

Pixie Baraka and Champ your warm words filled my heart up like any wonderful hug. Thank you for your support and for helping me feel better. Today was a much better day.

Mia said...

Aww Aisha I am sorry that you're having mini dramas. As for the person that refuses to connect go speak to him about it and if that fails over his head speak to management.

momyblogR said...

My goodness, what a wonderful way to say it.."A spouse is a quiet warm place to land" and "because they are your home." Could not have put it better myself. Even in the hardest of times there is not other place I'd rather land.

Being home sick is lonely feeling but sometimes a good one just the same. For me it's a sense of knowing where I really belong.

When I was in Spain, the communicating was ridiculous. I too tried ordering something on a menu and pointed to what I wanted. The items were numbered and the waiter brought me THREE of the number three on the menu. VERY funny. He was a great sport, we all had a good laugh. He only made me eat one of them...thank goodness, lol.

Stay well and sweet dreams of home. :)

Mia said...

Oh as for the pots and pans can you pick yourself up an inexpensive set in the local market? You can donate it to someone when you leave.

Baji said...

Hugs!

Muslim Mama said...

Oh how sad...cheer up...

wayfarer said...

:-(

Shabina said...

aw, bichari :/

I saw Nilofer this weekend and she says salams. and she def raised an eyebrow when i told her you were in brazil? "Without Kashif??" were her exact words. hehe, then i came home and read this entry. :)

AH you're past the halfway point. just remember to enjoy every last drop of that place, b/c as soon as you get home you're going to miss it like crazy...

ps...i was in hotlanta airport today and thought of you! alas that we're in different countries at the moment...

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