Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Me love me meme's

Have you ever had a heavy heart? It really is your heart and it really does feel heavy as though burdened with something it both cannot remove nor necessarily wants to. The current situation in the middle east, the tsunami in Java, an intense encounter with clients at work today, "finding my footing" issues... leave me drained save the heart that aches. My dad once said politics moves like the wind, and like the wind I can't control it. Sitting, fretting, burdening a day with sadness over things I have absolutely no power to change does no good. But it still hurts. To be a silent witness to pain on both a global level and pain in the person sitting across the table from me who has lost so much and yet smiles, shaking my hand, thanking me for coming.

I've been meaning to write my final Brasil post, update my movie reviews (which I finally did a few) but I guess all these thoughts jumble up leaving me a bit tongue tied. Hopefully the cat'll give me back my tongue soon enough.

In the meantime... why not a meme?

I am? unsure of my footing
I want? to eventually find out
I wish? there was less pain in the world
I hate? hating
I miss? making sand castles by the ocean
I fear? more than I should
I hear I am not? a morning person
I hear I am? of tree hugging tendencies
I dance? for comedic relief
I sing? Jewel with all my heart and soul.
I cry? entirely too much
I am not always? the same
I make with my hands? fantastic doodles
I write? not nearly enough.
I confuse? the location of my keys
I need? a pager to find them
I should? be getting ready for bed
I start? feeling hopeless....
I finish? knowing the power of love and humanity should never be underestimated.

17 comments:

Jane said...

You are a unique and special person, dear, always with compassion and care. The world needs more like you.

mystic-soul said...

The biggest tragedy of human history is that..we haven't learned anything from history.

Is peace a break between 2 wars or is war a just break in peace !!! ?

I still wonder when the CNN headlines is all about a minor incident somewhere in USA/europe etc or the whole world gets worried when brad pitt becomes father but no one gives shxxt to real problems like this

http://www.virusmyth.net/aids/pics/africa.gif

Aisha said...

Jane, I dont know what to say to that. I dont know if its true though. And even if it were what good would it do when you are powerless.

Mystic, CNN has been preplexing me as well....

Tee said...

Beautiful and well said as usual.

I often have the sensation of having a "heavy heart" as well. Makes it seem entirely possible that people really do die of a broken heart. Sometimes it's just nearly unbearable.

No matter what religion you are or what God you pray to, no one has a good reason explaining this suffering. There are theological explanations, of course, but none that satisfy... None that seem really fair. Especially when you take into account children, who really are blameless.

Sometimes I wish I could be more apathetic. It would be less painful.

Huda said...

You're not the only one... mine's been heavy for days now, too. I sit down to write about it, but nothing comes out that adequately captures what I'm feeling.

In defense of CNN (sorry, you know I have to), it's not CNN so much as it is the American public. For the domestic site, CNN serves up what people in America want to read. If you go to the international site, you see a much more balanced perspective.

The sad truth is that most Americans don't really care what's going on in the rest of the world so long as it doesn't affect them personally. Except that everything that happens everywhere affects us all personally because we're all citizens of the same world.

Perhaps he didn't say it first, but Donne certainly said it best:

"No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were. Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee."

Sohnii said...

Aisha... sad post... hugs!!! I do know what u mean by a heavy heart, becomes difficult to even breathe at times like these haina... hope it gets better for everyone...

I thot of adding u when i saw ur email add on ur blog earlier but i personally hate it when ppl add me without asking, so thot id spare u the stalker scene :D but since ure ok with it, i added u now...

yeah im in med school, 4th yr now...

Aisha said...

Tee, In Islam from my understanding life is seen as a test. We should have no expectations that life will be good and fair and just because the day of judgment will right wrongs that need righted. I thought Christians felt the same way. when I see people with a disporportionate amount of pain in their lives I can only think that they are paying on earth. Perhaps its scarier for me because my test is to stop being lazy and to stop being passive and to do something to help those who need it. Maybe on the Day of Judgment I will be in trouble way more for my cushy life... while those who went through Tsunamis and bombs and starvation and torture, they will have paid for their sins on earth and have an easy road to heaven. I hope so.

Aisha said...

Huda that quote you used was beautiful. I've heard it before but wow that really captures the feeling. Thanks for sharing that.
You are so right about CNN's coverage internationally. I've been to south america and europe and in both the news is markedly different though its all cnn. The first time I didnt know. I went to Paris and saw the coverage and wasl ike WOW they are expanding their horizons and covering it in such a different manner now. Then I realized it was different coverage :(
What do we do during these times? I was talking to my friend abotu this and she's planning a protest etc. I dont know what to do. I feel my mouth and body are both tongue tied.

sohnii, how could I think you're a stalker :) Fourth year med is pretty impressive :) How old are you? It hougtht you were 22! That's quick but then again I think in Pakistan you guys go faster than the US people.

Champ - Love Hound said...

Yes, what is happenin' around us is heart breakin'. But like you said we shouldn't underestimated the power of Love 'n' Humanity. It's a nice meme though.

*Smiles*

momyblogR said...

Great meme...I think I did something like that not to long ago.

A heavy heart...today my kids and I did our first "Meals on Wheels" route. My WORD!! Our very first visit I left the woman's apt. crying. She was the sweetest woman from Russia, and spoke no English. Alone, she sat, waiting for us. My kids gave her some colored paged they had done that she beamed over and gave them a few cookies in return. I stood watching, as she grabbed my kids by the face and gave them both a heart-felt kiss on the cheek along with a warm squeeze. I myself hugged her tight and assured her we would be back again, and I will be. I know she didn't understand what my mouth said but she did feel what I meant. :)

As I left, my thought was "My GOD, what if we are the only people she sees all day?" That thought was crushing to me and she put a face to so very many.

btw..I commented back to you.

Zak said...

cheer up Aisha, the darker the night..the sweeter the dawn.

Aisha said...

Champ, exactly :)are you no longer a barbaraian btw? lol

Mommyblogr I think you did do this meme, I remember reading it. I think. WOW what a powerful experience to have. The way you described I could see it all in my mind. Maybe you could write about it. It could motivate others to do it. What a sad feeling that she may not have seen anyone if you hadn't come though. That kind of thing really makes you think and thank...


Zak. I guess. but when the night is so long you begin doubting whether dawn is close by.

Chic Mommy said...

I'm not a morning person either. I knew we had something in common, other than our wedding date.

tony said...

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Sohnii said...

Aisha!
Im 21, will be 22 by September's end (trying not to focus on the getting old part :/)...
and yep in 4th yr now.. we go way faster then u guys... I'll graduate when im 23 :D cool na :D who knows, i might pop over to US after that, maybe we'll get to meet then :D

Tee said...

Aisha - You're right that Christians consider this life a "test" in some ways. The beliefs about judgement and righting of wrongs, etc is also the same. It is just a hard truth to accept for me sometimes.

Enyur said...

Oh the heavy heart syndrome...I think I go through that more than a few times a week. Tell a doctor that and they'll label it as depression! lol! No laughing matter really, but I totally know how you feel. You feel like you're chained, so much is happening before your eyes, you want to speak up for truth, for what is just but you're bound by the 'social norms'...sort of like the by standers apathy?

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