Wednesday, October 11, 2006

"I wanted to buy a candle holder but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake"

And other random thoughts....

Job Jitters. Still waiting to hear about "dream job." In my hopes to land this job I feel rather like an anxious suitor who just asked for the hand of the girl he's loved for three years and she rolls her eyes, yawns and says "We'll see." Like any lovelorn suitor I find myself daydreaming about it with a goofy grin. Checking my email and home answering machine. Constantly. Butterflies. I want to gab about it all the time to anyone who'll smile sympathetically and pat my hand saying "its okay, if its meant to be it will" to which I find myself wanting to cry "NO! ITS MEANT TO BE! DONT YOU SEE? IT HAS TO BE!" I'm a love sick puppy and just like any anxious suitor, if rejected, I will probably need plenty of tissues, chocolates, and chick flicks and a good heaping of "it wasn't good enough for you anyways!" <-- though the latter would be a blatant lie as it certainly was good enough for me, but rather I, who was decidedly not good enough for it, trite condolences would still be very much appreciated.

Healthy babies.
My externship at the children's hospital makes me appreciate health on a new level. You know when pregnant folk say "we dont care what we're having as long as its healthy"? I never felt so strongly about that until meeting these kids. People suffer from things you can't imagine. Some in India kill perfectly healthy baby girls because they'd rather try for a son instead. (Ofcourse, sonograms have reduced this practice resulting instead in soaring female abortions resulting in a disporportionate amount of boys) The orphanages in China are filled to the brim with heathy beautiful baby girls due to the 1 child per couple policy (which was enacted in 1979, the year I was born. That just sent chills up my spine. Life is so much being at (or born in) the right place at the right time.) These folks need to spend a day at a children's hospital. Perhaps it could give them a slap of perspective to see the heartbreak of parents and their children.. it may make such concerns for a son seem... criminal.

** Mitch Hedberg


chikashi said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
rehtwo said...

Mmmm...cake. You know, I always thought the guessing game about a baby's gender was part of the excitement in the preparation for the birth. Good luck good luck good luck in re: your dream job!

Aisha said...

I know Rehtwo, can you imagine just hoping it was one gender? Its unbelievable. I come from such a culture though luckiy my family was not that way. One of my aunts had five daughters in a row in the hopes to have a son. Her sixth child was a boy. Lucky her sheesh.

And thanks for the well wishes about the job. *gulp*

Tee said...

When I was pregnant with my boys, each time I said "as long as it's healthy". I don't know how anyone can feel any different. To just see 10 perfect toes and 10 perfect fingers. To watch your child grow and meet or exceed all the benchmarks is a tremendous relief.

At church last Sunday there was a mother with a severely mentally and physically handicapped boy in a special wheelchair.

During the service he made quite a few loud noises. She eventually took him out in the hall. After service I smiled at her to be friendly but she didn't smile back. There was a lot of sadness in her eyes. I walked by holding the hands of my 2 boys feeling incredibly guilty, incredibly blessed and incredibly sad.

There are some things we can't understand about life and God. Why someone is blessed in a way another isn't. Why situations have the outcomes that they do. (This goes for the potential job as well). We just have to accept the cards we're dealt, and play them the best we can.

Amanda said...

Aisha - Don't feel bad about posting in class:) Who can blame us for not being able to pay attention for almost 4 straight hours? And plus you're working on an empty stomach for part of it. I am not sure how I would function if I observed Ramadan (hope I got the spelling right). I am the type of person who gets irritable very quickly when I'm hungry (when I say "I'm hungry" more than once to my fiance he knows I'm almost near the meltdown stage and need to get food FAST).
Good luck with the "dream job" - hope you hear something soon!

Anonymous said...

In the philosophy of religion there is a particular problem called the problem of evil.

The boy you met at church will help us illustrate the problem. The boy suffers unnecessarily. There is no apparent good in his suffering. The atheist maintains that an omniscient being who is also omnipotent and omnibenevolent will not allow for unnecessary suffering. Why? Well let us take the example of the boy.

The boy does seem to suffer unnecessarily, i.e., for no apparent good. God being omniscient knows about him. Since God is also omnibenevolent He shall want to eliminate this instance of suffering. And since He's omnipotent (all powerful) there is nothing which could keep Him from doing this. But HE doesn't do anything about it and as a consequence unnecessary suffering exists.

Therefore, the atheist argues, an omnibenevolent, omniscient, and omnipotent God could not exist.

Tee said...

anonymous - The existenence of evil and suffering of innocents is perhaps the largest hurdle I find myself against when it comes to my beliefs. I struggle daily in my faith because Christianity, Islam and Judaism all say God is a "just and fair" God. From a human point of view, this is a hard thing to agree with.

mezba said...

I cannot speak about the problem of evil. Others I am sure will have good rebuttals somewhere on the net. But I don't know how anyone can kill/dump a perfectly healthy baby just because of the gender. I just CANT get around that fact.

Aisha said...

Tee, yes the abrahamic faiths do teach that God is just and fair. But at least in Islam from my understanding, Life is viewed as temporary and as a test. God never promised life will be easy, that there will not hurt and pain for good people, innocnent children. According to my understanding of my religion, these obstacles, these hardships are meant to test us. How we do handle our obstacles? I guess for me, I never thought life was meant to be fair. So where is the justice? The true reward and the righting of wrongs (justice) that may not have been in this life will be corrected in the next.

Anon, so you presented a perspective, is it your perspective?

Amanda, fasting isn't too hard actually but its just sitting in the most boring class on the planet plus not having any coffee to maintain alertness that is really the issue. I probably should go buy some coffee during the break. But then I'm scared how it will affect me on an empty stomach :).

Mezba, yes its hard to understand. I mean don't mothers have a natural bond with their child? How do you do that? As a woman yourself? I've heard a lot of times its not the woman's choice but a choice made for her. The link I have to the Chinese baby girl situation is heartbreaking though.

Anonymous said...

g'luck ;)

koonj said...

good luck, dear!

momyblogR said...

Oh my goodness! Yes, that all consoling phrase, "its okay, if its meant to be it will." Please, I've heard that a lot here lately, as recently as yesterday afternoon. Thing is, my head is in complete agreement, it's my heart that just can't seem to get a handle on the whole concept.

If not this dream (although I have complete faith) than there is another one waiting. Hang in there.

There isn't a single part of me that can even come close to understanding the whole mentality of China. When pregnant for mine, I had only the required tests, they were manditory. The rest I let go. I didn't find out what their sex was, nor I have any other testing, such as amnio, etc. I just knew I was going to take what I got and love them regardless. I was blessed beyond measure!! I've seen suffering parents and wouldn't wish that on anyone, EVER! So to terminate a pregnancy because of the sex of the baby is....well, for me it's beyond words.

Anon: I agree with Tee. I too struggle greatly with such issues. Having been personally involved at one time with such suffering that involved a child, TOTALLY put my faith to the test. It was a very hard time for me. However, I believe I came out stronger and fully believe that God is fair and just and that there are no mistakes. I admit, it's still painful at times and I don't understand, but that is what faith is.....going forward even though I don't have the answers. I trust Him and know that one day when I stand before him, I will have the opportunity get all the answers to every question I ever had.

Mia said...

I've been wondering what was going on with your dream job. I've got my fingers and toes crossed for you.

As for uncle and his wife had 7 daughters no boys can you imagine? lol My mother is the only girl in a family of 8. I think all anyone should hope for is a healthy child period. When my cousin was born with Downs syndrome a year ago we all felt blessed because in retrospect she is a healthy child. She just started walking and gives the best drooly kisses in the world!

waqas tahir said...

There is a counter argument to the problem of evil.
One may refer to a certain type of arguments known as Theodicy. If you're interested let me know and i'll make a comment to elaborate.

Aisha said...

Anon, Koonj, thanks :)

Mommyblogr, thanks for the encouragement. I do believe that if I didn't get this, at least I gave it a shot. One of the girls I talked to when deciding to apply said "you're not guarunteed to get it if you apply. But yo'ure guarunteed to NOT get it if you dont apply" At least I will have no regrets :). Its hard to fathom the obsession with boys at the sad expense of girls. Its troubling me so much I'm thinking of changing my paper topic to this for my international human rights class.

Mia- amen. healthy and happy. Its good that your family is so good to your cousin.

Waqas, welcome to the blog. My post had nothing to do with evil specifically I didnt think but it seems to be a topic that has been introduced through the comments. You are more than welcome to share your thoughts and elaborate on your opinion. Thanks!

pixie said...

Good luck on the job! I know that the waiting period has to be torture!!
Yeah, being around sick children really does put things in a different prespective.

Aisha said...

Thanks Pixie :)

mystic said...

they didn't tell long it take to answer your application?. Just curious.

Aisha said...

Mystic they said they will call to set up interviews in October and November. So it could be any day now. Or not at all :-(

Anonymous said...

Well wishes on the job.

I found it interesting that you mentioned the problem with killing perfectly healthy girls in India and China.

Has Pakistan ever been accused of such atrocities?

-Just saying...

Aisha said...

Thanks anon for the well wishes.

You know interesting you shoul say that. TAlking to my mom the other day I learned that its going on in Pakistan too. The reason I pointed out India is because of the numerous articles and human rights watches placed there for this problem.

But you're right, Pakistan is surely guilty of this too, as are many other countries I did not name.

Chic Mommy said...

That news about the female infanticide is just horrifying. But it is such a ridiculous mentality in Asian countries. When I told family members I was pregnant with twin girls, some people (you know the type) wanted to make sure, "are you sure there are two girls, there isn't a chance one is a boy?" I was like, what difference does that even make? I am actually very happy that I had two girls, I love them dearly and I wouldn't have it any other way. Baby girls are a blessing from God. Sons are too, but girls really fill the house with more "roanuk" I've found. My Aunt has four sons, and all her sons have had sons, not one has had a baby girl (by fate, not choice) and my Aunt prays for a baby granddaughter everyday.

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