Thursday, October 26, 2006

Of sprained ankles and spirituality

Tuesday night, walking down a set of stairs, I tripped and my leg went one way, my foot another. Its my right foot and I'm right handed. I didn't know I'm also right foot-ed. I try walking in my usual manner, and find I simply can't. Its strange to see the sideways glances of people who see me wince in pain as I awkwardly hobble. Finding no parking on the first floor of a parking garage with no elevators made for an excruciating six flights down. I can't imagine how I will walk up them tonight.

The sprain has occurred during a time in my life that stress is reaching all time highs as I'm studying for exams, writing term papers, preparing for hajj, applying for jobs, and working on getting certified to sit for the bar. And I don't handle stress well.

But with each painful step, and each sideways glance, I am reminded that this pain is temporary. For many, such pain, such sideways glances of pity and curiosity never fade. Though the pain makes me walk slower its giving me a reminder of perspective. As though God tapped me and said, "Um hello. Are you seriously feeling sorry for yourself when I have blessed you with the privilege to worry about such things? "

There was a time in my life that I looked at everything as a blessing. A hurt or a loss was a challenge from God that He knew I could handle and work through. A kind smile or opportunity, a pat on the back. Somewhere along the way this perspective slipped through my fingers, and I've been sifting though the sand to find it again. This sprained ankle is making me realize that just as I'm walking painfully one step at a time, icing it, compressing it, elevating it, and doing what I need to do to slowly heal and regain my gait, I must slowly begin working to regain my spirituality, for perspective and spirituality go hand in hand and through painfully building it up again bit by bit, eventually it may become whole again.

"Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful." -Buddha

27 comments:

Anonymous said...

wonderful post. Perspective is imperative in life. Thanks for your response on the prior post.

-MB

Anonymous said...

Aisha,
I'm sorry you're feeling stressed. Just step back, take a deep breath, and maybe even a day off (yes, without studying at all), and hopefully, you'll come back feeling refreshed after that! So, did you end up taking that gov job? Is that why you're so busy?
Rasha

Shabina said...

aw, sorry to hear about your ankle. iA even if ramadan didn't help with the whole perspective thing, hajj will. praay for me and, well...you know :)

Aisha said...

Anon, thanks!

Rasha, thank you for advice :) No I ended up not taking the job and I'm very glad I made that decision because its very busy as it is.

Shabina well Ramadan is always great but the persepctive thing is more than just that though. And yes yo'ure in my duaas :)

Maleeha said...

Aww gosh, I'm sorry you're going through that! I feel you on the stress sista. Man, do I feel you. And I havent even touched the bar exam stuff yet. I'm afraid I'm going to miss out on some deadline b/c I'm in denial that I have to take it. I just cant accept it.

Living Away said...

Dear Aisha!
Take care! Our body has a clever way of telling us that we need to slow down

William Smith said...

I never read one of your posts without getting at least a smile from the experience. I find your attitude and writing wonderfully refreshing. In a world filled with so much pain and suffering it's great to find one with so much to offer. Best wishes and I hope you heal quickly. Thanks Again! Oh, by the way, in case you were wondering, I'm hardly prone to false praise as I'm sure you know from reading my blog. I tell it like I see it and I find your writing uplifting to the point were I eagerly look forward to every new item. Please don't ever stop!

mystic-soul said...

Aisha 2 things

1) Are you doing any thing for your sprain? I mean any medical help..?... Why don't you ask your husband or any friend for a ride. Climbing 6 floors on stairs with sprained ankle would be insane.

2) (Let me be blunt) - sub kuch saath kerna zaroori hai kiya?.

mezba said...

Oh I hope you are ok. Once, long time ago, I nearly tumbled down a flight of stairs but thankfully my cardigan got caught in the railing and held fast, so preventing my fall. At that moment I could have sworn I saw my life flash before my eyes.

Pray for us when you go for hajj, will you? Did you apply for the visa and everything? I heard that's a saga in itself.

Tee said...

First, just picturing anyone spraining their ankle makes my stomach drop and my toes go numb. That's such an odd and horrible sensation when your foot just flips over like that.

I hope you've been taking care to keep it elevated all those hours sitting in class. Some OTC pain reliever and ice/heat will provide some relief as well.

I loved the line about how the optimistic perspective was lost in the sand and you have to sift through to find it again. Eloquent. That's exactly how it is because I've felt it lately, too. Sifting through sand is made difficult because even as you pull back a handful, the walls keep caving in, making it particularly frustrating.

It sounds like you're getting there though. {HUG}

Anonymous said...

OUCH. hope ur ok

Aisha said...

Maleeha, I know, :( its stressful. I hate Evidence btw. Regarding bar application. Its not due till later but the certificatin of fitness is due December 1 in Georgia. If you plan to sit for the bar you might want to check out the timings for the fitness deadlines. The requirements (at least in Georgia) are brutal.

Living Away, I agree. :) I felt like my body punished me for stressing it out! lol.

William, thank you very much for your kind words :). Again, not sure if I'm worthy of such high praise, but it is apreciated and gives me motivation to continue posting.

Mystic, thanks for your concern. I am doing what my friend (doctor) advised and alhamdullilah I got a ride to take me up to my parking space. What do you mean with the second question? Maybe I didnt understand it.

Mezba, any specific prayer? If you want, send me an email and let me know.

Tee, its my first sprained ankle and its NOT FUN :(. And yes it really lis like it slipped through the sand. I'm glad you understood why I used that analogy and that you could relate. :) I knew you would!

Anon. thanks. I'm ok. Just hobbling. Its annoying. But what can you do...

mystic-soul said...

What I meant...Do you need to finish everything in one time..like bar exam, job application, hajj..

Do one at a time. Or need to be done together ?

Aisha said...

Well outside of hajj, yes everything has to be done now. B/c bar is done upon graduatin, studying must be done to graduate, and jobs are needed after graduation too. They all are needed. And hajj is important to be done now too b/c we dont have kids and b/c I'm a student I have the december vacation off and wont hav eto take time off work. Its the most convenient time I suppose. But It will be done in due time... insh'allah :) I mean... it has to be done... so it will.. insh'allah.

Enyur said...

*ouch!* I just read your previous posts, and man oh man, you've had quite a few things happening! The falling dishwasher, the crazy garage birdie, the 'quarter thief' and a sprained ankle *yikes!*

Hope that ankle heals quickly! Good luck on your exams!

Baji said...

So true, so true.

Take care of yourelf because all the signs of stress are oozing out in every direction.

Jane said...

Sorry you injured yourself. I think it is admirable that you are able to put it in perspective and not feel sorry for yourself. However I've had a sprained ankle and it does hurt. You are allowed a bit of wallowing for it. Indulge.

mystic-soul said...

We can't do much but will pray for sure.

daud aharon cohen said...

ur blog rocks... like ur writing...

take care...

love for all...

Anonymous said...

OH MY...I hope you feel better Aisha. Thanks for the reminder to see God in ALL things. See you soon!

Toi

estarz said...

Ouch! Hope you are feeling better! Excellent outlook on life.

Peace.

Saadia said...

Yeah I loved your last paragraph. During the first para I was wondering why you are whining so much, but it came together with eloquent self-realization at the end. Keep it up, and try soaking your feet in iodine salts and hot water maybe.

say what? said...

and den?

Aisha said...

Enyur, thanks for your well wishes. Glad to see ya around :)

Baji, thanks dear. do you think the ankle came from stess too? :(

Jane, well, the first tday, if you were to ask Kashif, he will attest to the fact that I certainly wallowed. lol. this was written on Thursday, three days later after I got a grip of perspective :)

Mystic, aw thanks :)

Daud, welcome and thanks :)

TOI!!!!! Toi commented on my blog!! :) Thanks, I can't wait for our hang out soon.

Estarz, long time no see. Thanks :)

Saadia, thanks for the advice. I keep it wrapped and elevated. Its definitely bette. the ankle is not hurting as much as the ligament that runs the side of the foot is hurting.

Say what???? Where have you been?!

Den what? kya? :-/

Minka said...

°Wow, that does not sound good, you reallu have to try to relax in all the stress. I know it is hard, especially when everythign is going on at the same time, but we have to take care of ourselves. Believe you me, life at the moment is so excititing for me, that I can´t find enough time to sleep...yesterday I almost fell asleep driving! Not so good...this is where I take myself to bed and sleep in...

wayfarer said...

I didn't know you were preparing to go on Hajj! How exciting! Sorry to hear about the ankle...

Sohnii said...

Mubarak about the hajj!!!

I absolutely love this post, and absolutely absolutely love your perspective on life. I used to think that way too before I lost it since a 2 maybe 3 years ago. And I have no idea how to get my perspective back. I feel lost without it. Any ideas on what to do?

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