There is a bird. In my garage. It will not leave. Kashif opened the garage door to leave for work. The car was just sitting there minding its own business. A bird at full speed, as though competing for birdie olympics flew headfirst into the car. Then we thought it left. It did not. It is still there. In my garage. And it will not leave. Both garage doors have been open. For four hours. I check. Its quiet. Then closing the door, thinking its gone, the bird jumps from its hiding and frantically flies around. But. wont. leave. And the bird is bald. And stares at me in a crazy way. Unmoving. Alfred Hitchcock movies come to mind. So I call animal control. Who tell me to call the police. Who tell me someone will be there. When? They do not know. Tonight? Tomorrow? Monday?
So its me and crazy bird. Chilling.
I think I'll name him Norm.
Did I mention this homeowner is exhausted?
***Update: Animal control came and shooed the bird away. Why do I still feel drained?