Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Meme

I knew I had to post a new entry when hits came pouring in from search terms such as "My life is over" "the worst type of depression" "the single greatest failure of my life" Yikes. If you arrived via that route, please click here.

It's final. We're not going to Hajj. We planned for this year since we got married. We picked the group by July. I spent hours on the phone today trying to find another agency but everything is booked. I'm coming to terms with it but the hardest part is taming the "what if" monster lurking about. Regret gets me nowhere. It wasn't meant to be this year. If it was, I'd be boarding a plane on Thursday.

Thanks to Tracy, Adnan, Rizwana and others who helped me prepare. Thanks to all who commented and showed your support during a particularly down time. Some comments made me laugh out loud, but all made me smile. Slowly I'm feeling better. It's uphill to the top but I've begun the climb.

In an effort to cheer up, I'm adopting the "fake it till you make it" mentality. Que Sera, and Baraka tagged me to share 6 weird things about myself. I did this a year ago, but there are plenty more weird things, plus, I dont know how odd last year's weird stuff was, it was interesting but not full out weird. So try two:

1. Before I open a can of soda I tap the sides. I think it pops the air bubbles waiting to explode in my face should the can have been shaken during the vending process. I found a whole discussion about it so maybe its not weird, but I feel weird doing it because I never see anyone else doing it too.

2. I smell my food before I eat it. I think by taking in the aroma you get to truly enjoy the food. And if its unfamiliar food you know what to expect before you take your first bite. I thought I was subtle but Kashif noticed a few months into our marriage. He considers the habit very endearing, but undoubtedly weird.

3. I always talk in my sleep. In Punjabi. This is odd because I speak English most of the time but according to Kashif I dream in Punjabi and am typically conversing with my mother. I also give hugs and kick people in my sleep. So I'm told.

4. At night I check under my car before I get in. Urban legends affect me.

5. I must chew gum when taking an exam. My first year teaching my school shared research that gum chewed while taking an exam relieves stress and increases concentration. I'll never forget the looks on my 7 year old students faces on exam day when they saw a carton of bubble gum just for them. I swear by it.

6. I watch Judge Judy. Phew it feels better letting that out. If I'm home and it's on, I can't look away. I must watch. Now that I'm in law school I tell myself its ok because I try predicting her decisions. But the watching predates law school. And its not just me, the other day talking to my brother about an issue he proceeded to give me legal advice by relying on "People's Court" I guess its genetic.

25 comments:

mystic-soul said...

So poor kashif getting kicks and hugs !!! ? ...that was very funny..

rehtwo said...

I tap my soda too! And smell is a very important part of taste. I'm sorry about your visa issues and not being able to make it to Hajj this year - I know there's nothing that I can really say to make it feel better.

Okay, that deflates the mood of my comment. So I'm going to end it with a grin. :-D

Amanda said...

Aisha - not to sound completely culturally ignorant but what is Hajj? I'm not sure what it is but I am sorry you are not going this year:) On the positive side YOU ARE DONE WITH FINALS! (right? maybe you still have a paper to do but at least it's not a test) And more importantly you finished your next to last set of finals! WOHOO! I can't wait until I can say that:)

I also tap the soda can (I tap it on the top). My fiance says I eat my bananas in a weird way - I take the peel off completely and eat the banana - he peels it part way so he can eat the banana while holding it in the peel (thus not touching the "banana slime" as he calls it). I also hate being stopped in traffic under a bridge. Sometimes I will stop before I get to the bride so I don't have to be parked under it.

Your post has inspired me - I might do a similar one on my blog:)

Mia said...

Hey that was a nice light hearted post! I think I will do it on my blog. I'm sorry about your trip but you're luckier than most you'll get to plan this again. You can afford to do it alot peeps can't. So in retrospect this is just a little hiccup on what has for the most part been a smooth and pothole free road of life.

Maleeha said...

yes! i must chew gum when i take exams too. i'm in the middle of my 8 hour federal courts final and had to take a break to tell you i've got a pack of gum next to me that i'm popping like no tomorrow. i thought i was the only one :)

Aisha said...

Mystic yes, hes a trooper :)

Rehtwo thanks :0) Long time no see!

Amanada I turned in Bross' paper last night and yes I am done!!! It feels SO good. :) And for information on Hajj:http://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/islam/practices/hajj_1.shtml
I'll have to check your site for your six weird things. I get weird stopped under a bridge too now that you mention it! :)

Mia, Ill be checking it out :) Ad yes, that is a nice way to say it. A hiccup in the road of life. Definitely.

Maleeha. YESSS, gum-during-examinations UNITE! :)
Good luck on the exam. EIGHT HOURS??? WHAT?

Saadia said...

From slumber party experience I can attest that you also talk in english in your sleep.

Congradulations on not going go hajj. Don't blame yourself.

amira said...

Salaam Aisha,

Sorry that your Hajj trip did not work out. :-( I know how much you really wanted to go.

Loved your weird meme...I don't know if I talk in another language... but I dream in Thai every once in a while. I lived there for a year (about 6 years ago) and I'm sure I have lost much of my ability to communicate. But every once in a while I dream that I'm still there... the dream is so vivid and the whole thing is in Thai. Very wierd!

khonika said...

Aisha,
funny meme! You speak Punjabi, huh? I thought you spoke Urdu and English

Jane said...

Very interesting post, dear. I am so sorry about the Hajj. I know it meant so much to you. You will go someday. I know it.

As for #4, I hope you also look in the backseat before you get into your car. I do.

Baraka said...

Salaam,

Thanks for doing this!

As for Hajj: Insha-Allah He will invite you to His house soon.

Warmly,
Baraka

wayfarer said...

Sorry about hajj....

I tap the top of my soda for the same reason. :-)

I used to check the back seat of my car too - until i had a garage and quit worrying about it.

That is soooo cute that you bought your students gum. They must have thought you were the bestest :-)

bajidance said...

Wow, how awesome of a teacher you must have been!

I'm sorry that Hajj didn't work out, it will Insh'Allah soon. Somethings out of the "plan" are best.

take care.

mezba said...

I never thought of tapping the sides. Actually don't drink soda too much (I had to remember soda = soft drink, in Canada we call it pop. Soda is for washing machines!).

I actually dust down my bed (just pat it down) before I go to bed. I read somewhere it's sunnah.

Maleeha said...

yup, 8 hour take home exam. better than the 24 hour ones i suppose *shudder* i'm so glad its over!

Aisha said...

Saadia, I know. I've freaked you out quite a few times from my memory. BTW I got your email. Will write back tonight inshallah.

Amira thanks! That is awesome that you lived in Thailand! Wow, Ive always wanted to go there. I am not surprised you could dream in Thai since our subconscious retains so much our waking mind forgets.

Jane, yeah that too :)

Baraka, thanks, and insh'allah :)

Wayfarer, i was adorable. They actually had something to look forward to when taking exams :)

Baji its things like that make me miss teaching. Insh'allah Hajj next year... up to God afterall :)

Mezba, yep, apparently i'm not the only one who taps it. Kudos for not drinking soda. I dont either but when I do, diet coke is the beverage of choice.

Maleeha, ohhh ok. take home. I hate take homes with all my heart :(

Aisha said...

Errrr Wayfarer, IT was adorable. Not I was adorable. LOL :)

Maliha said...

Salamaat,
I am glad you are feeling better...There's always wisdom behind these things, and I know its not as comforting now, but Inshaallah when you do go, you will realize that perhaps it was for the best.

I can't chew gum while studying or exams...i lose all concentration. (I can barely NOT chew gum and walk in a straight line) :)

thanks for sharing:)

Mona UmIbrahim said...

Salam Aisha,
In my opinion, if you asked me, i would have told you not to go this year. Everyone is going this year because it coincides with a long vacation time. That means way too too too too crowded. Last year my parents went and it was a silimar situation - coincided with some vacation time, so there were double the groups going out for Hajj. My parents had the worst experience. People wanted their money back because most of the rituals were performed later than they were supposed to. Hours and hours spent in buses inhaling bus exhaust. That was supposed to be spent in worship at Makkah or Madina. Luggage problems, airline problems, you name it - it happened. Thousands of dollars down the drain. There was no way a person could attain spirituality in that environment.

So i would say to you, and to all others that couldn't go, God is saving you from misery. Your time will come inshaAllah.

Saadia said...

Yeah I'd like to go to hajj but not if its so overcrowded.

Aisha said...

Maliha, thanks sis :)

Mona, Salaam and welcome to the blog:). Thanks for telling me about your parents experience. It helped me feel a tad better about missing out this year. There is wisdom in it, He knows best after all.

Saadia, yeah I anticipate it beingq uite crowded for some time to come! :(

mystic-soul said...

Hey Aisha..Where are you?. You haven't posted in 4 days..I am getting 'Aishaemic'.

I hope, you are not developing the condition as Mezba did recently.

old man neill said...

holy crap, i'm guilty of all these off and on. even the judge judy for like 6 months. and i don't speek punjabi in my sleep...it's definately in english.

Suroor said...

At night I check under my bed! Still :) You sound so totally adorable!

pixie said...

I know this a little late but I'm just now catching up on blogs. I'm sorry about the whole Hajj trip, insha'allah, it will happen. I always chew gum while taking an exam!! I'm sure I drive everyone else around me insane,hahaha!

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