Thursday, February 01, 2007

On the pitter patter of little feet

Isn't it strange that as soon as I type about the pitter patter of the squirrels in my attic, they stop the pitter patter? Seriously, its silent static-less soundless-ness. You could hear the proverbial pin drop.

You might think they left but they didn't. I know it. Why? Because the past two days we have had a combination of 20 degree weather and/or freezing rain. There ain't no way those squirrels have suddenly decided they'd rather live outdoors.

My conclusion? Well, what other conclusion can their be? They must read my blog. I can just imagine the little squirrel family up in my attic. The mom and dad squirrel pacing the floor absolutely livid at the three baby squirrels huddled together with guilty expressions.

Mom: Pitter Patter! Those were her exact words! How many times have I told you about the pitter patter?!
Dad: Do you know how hard your mother and I work to put a roof over your heads?
Mom: You are all grounded! Go sit by the bingo games and do not move!
Dad: If I so much as hear a pitter, God help me.....!!!

Incidentally its a very bad thing that I now have a visual image of these squirrels akin to Stuart Little or Alvin and the Chipmunks. Because do you know who those people are in those types of shows that try to kick out the rodents? They're the bad guys and I am not a bad guy!

Squirrels, since it is established that you read this I'd like to say that I don't mind that you are in my attic. But running through the walls? Seriously? Is that really necessary? And it's not my fault your parents never toilet trained you or taught you to clean up after yourselves! And who is telling you to chew the heck out of my insulation? Read my lips: Y'all are a fire hazard! You chew wires! I mean, who does that? Furthermore from a legal standpoint you lose: You are squatters, trespassers and vandalizers! Besides the castle doctrine allows me freedom to do as I wish if someone breaks into my home, and if it applies to humans it most certainly applies to squirrels. So really, this stern rebuke (which btw is caused by tiredness which resulted in crankiness) is not my fault and you really only have yourselves to blame!

And I refuse to let you make me feel guilty!

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

I know how serious the matter is but I couldn't help but laugh when reading this. Inshallah the pest control will take care of it for you. But I did hear about the bad weather in Atlanta; I guess the airport was closing and this may affect some people's Superbowl plans??
Anways, good luck!

Rasha

Jane said...

Squirrels are essentially rats with cuter tails.

Tee said...

No no no!!!! Hahahahahaha!!!

Aisha, how could you do this? They have personalities now! Geez pete. Next you're going to go naming them. Aishaaaaaaaa, don't do it!

LOL.

Aisha said...

Rasha, Im happy you laughed :) My motto with this situtation is that you must laugh to keep from crying :)Atl weather is making news outside of the atl? Wow! I dont know anything about cancellations but the weather should be better by superbowl weekend.

Jane, I know they have lost all grace with me.

Tee, I can't help it. I'm horible! :)

AnonyMouse said...

Hahaha, that's hilarious! :D

I'm feeling sorry for the three baby squirrels now... they remind me of my little brothers!
Hey... does that make them my cousins?

Baraka said...

Salaam fellow Aisha,

Oh, poor lil rodents.

I remember when field mice infested our house in the hills of San Jose and we found a little nest of blond baby mice and my mom dumped them on the trash. I cried for days after.

Maybe you could call the local animal shelter or vet and ask them a humane way of getting them out of your walls?

xo,
b

slskenyon said...

Interesting inhabitants to have. At least you aren't the bad guy. Rodents have the added bonus of running into half a dozen cats if they decide to choose our attic--however, the joke is that none of them can catch anything. Who is the joke on? I suppose that depends...

Anonymous said...

send them an eviction notice.

Suroor said...

Dear Aisha,

The picture wants me want to say, "aww cute, God bless!" But I know you'd kill me so I shall shut up and only say "They must go! God damn"!

Maliha said...

Salamaat Aisha,
I am worried about your mental health. Please do take a break and get some rest. Read my lips: The squirrels don't exist, it's all in your head.

Peace and herbal chai :)

Aisha said...

anon- lol glad it made you smile :)

Baraka- pest control here is very humane so need to worry about cruel treatment :)

slskenyon, your cats make me think of garfield :) lol

Anon, hadn' thought of that :)

Suroor, lol :) Pest control came yesterday so we'll see how quick it all gets resolved now :) ?It takes about three weeks to completethe process.

Maliha, my mental health is fine. I'm sorry if this post came off as sincere... it was just a joke as I did put on the label "humor"... I do have pests in my attic... i find that its beter to find the humor in matters rather than continue growing upset aout it.... but please dont take the post literally, i hope that was obvious?

momyblogR said...

You are hysterical, LOL!! Girl, you have GOT to get some sleep...you are talking to SQUIRRELS. :):)

Ruby said...

LOL, thanks for the laugh. I love that you have them being grounded, just don't name them! A
Carrie Bradshaw-ism for you: You can't be friends with a squirrel! Its a just a rat with a cuter outfit!

Maliha said...

Salamaat,
I was soo just kidding :(

I had to check back and make sure you got my joke. Alas, humor is not my forte :)

but i did get it, i promise i did...

Aisha said...

Momyblogr, yes I'm losing it over here ;0)

Ruby, thank you for that quote. Truer words were never spoken!

Maliha, phew. I got soooo flustered because I really respect what you have to say so I was like "oh my gosh she thinks I'm crazy!!!!" Sorry, I think it was obviously a joke.. I'm kind of dense. Again- I blame it on the lack of sleep :)

Anonymous said...

http://www.cristine.net/~cristine/images/squirrel.jpg

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