Monday, September 24, 2007

Hello. And Sorry.

Hello all: Blog. Bloggie Friends. Friends in general and family in particular. Its me. Aisha. I know I have been MIA for a while. Some of you have contacted me wondering if Im OK. Some once discovering I am indeed OK with all ten fingers and toes, wonder WHERE ARE YOU? I am here. And I am OK. I'm just tired. Very tired. I guess it began with the bar exam. And then traveling after the bar exam (which though fun is not 100% relaxing). And then starting work (five days a week 9-10 hours a day is a new concept for me) And Ramadan. And trying to, you know, find time to eat, bathe, iron my clothes, say hi to the guy who lives with me, and maybe perchance sleep for a few hours in between.

Aisha, the rest of the world goes to work, you're not the only one who fasts, and all these people manage to fit in the other necessities of life without dropping off the face of the earth. I actually didn't know this was a growing sentiment until today when I got an email from my best friend who said plainly and bluntly that this would be her last attempt to contact me and then she would officially give up on a friendship that spanned 15 years. Her email concluded I guess you think you're too good for me now that you're a lawyer. Ouch. I felt like a biker on a swiss alp trying to picture a finish line and suddenly being smacked by a brick wall that popped out of absolute nowhere.

I don't think I'm better than anyone. On the contrary, I'm obviously not better than the rest of the world who manages to keep in touch and balance the rest of it too. To those whose emails i have not yet responded to, the phone calls I promised to return, to those wondering where my blogging self has been, and to those sensing my general aloofness as of late: I am so sorry. Its just that between work, home, sleep, and dealing with a particular tragedy that affected a dear friend, I just can't seem to find enough time in the day (though I agree that God gave each of us 24 hours a day and some of us manage to fit it all in)

But I don't feel hopeless. My little brother reminded me when I began teaching I felt similar to what I feel now. I remember flinging myself upon the sofa, my second day of teaching, tears forming and lip trembling. I remember telling my family I was done. That there was no way I could go back to that classroom again. I remember feeling overwhelmed and totally out of my element. But anyone whose been reading this long enough, or knows me well enough knows that teaching was a career I valued greatly, and I didn't lose touch with all of y'all while doing so. So I don't feel hopeless. I know soon a routine and resulting sense of order will develop. Soon I hope to be blogging (regularly) again, writing my novel again, sleeping again, and most of all getting back in touch with all my dear friends and family members again. I don't know how soon but please remember I don't mean to be ignoring you. I do care about all of you. Please, be patient with me while I work the kinks out.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

lol...

somehow I found this post too cute !!

Mystic

pixie said...

Well, it will take awhile to get into a new routine. Change isn't easy and I think it must be that much harder while fasting.
Hugs to you!

Baraka said...

Wishing you well dear!

Warmly,
Baraka
www.rickshawdiaries.wordpress.com

Anonymous said...

You're going to be alright! Not only alright, but fantastic. You made it this far for a reason, you have what it takes.

As for your friend, its hard in the beginning but you'll get the hang of juggling it all, and then you can have a girlie day out with her - spa, movie, the works.

:)
Muse

Anonymous said...

Anyone who really knows your heart knows you value the people you care about. Sometimes life gets congested and you have to find your room to breathe. (Everyone takes a hiatus.) MIA or not, our thoughts are always w/you.

Get some rest. We'll wait patiently until we see/talk to you again w/no judgments or complaints. Your friend, Toi

Jane said...

Glad to hear you are ok. Not upset or angry with you for living your life and being busy. Do miss you though. Take care dear.

Tee said...

E-mailed you. {HUGS}

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