Wednesday, January 23, 2008

The unfortunate circumstance of the goat meat

Takalaf: the concerted act of being polite/formal/gracious/hospitable.

Desis are notorious for takalaf which though translatable is not fully understood without seeing how it plays out in the desi world:

If you see a jolly family of desis having a nice amiable dinner at say, Macaroni Grill, and then 10 minutes later see a road runner scene as two grown men chase each other around the table one holding the bill high out of reach and the other flaying a credit card after him because both insist on paying: Mutual Takalaf.

If at a dinner you have the strong inclination to gorge yourself on biryani until your stomach needs to be pumped at the hospital but eat only a plateful because you're afraid the pan might empty of biryani and you don't want to burden your host with replenishing the tray: Self Induced Takalaf.

If you stopped at a friend's to drop off a CD and the mother proceeds to yank you out of the car, drag you in the home, plop you on a sofa and feed you chai with an assortment of biscuits while monitoring your bites: Auntie Takalafed you.

If you tell your MIL as she hands you a bag of frozen goat to take home, that you don't want goat meat because you don't like the taste and cant get the image of lamp chops out of your head (and yes lamb chops was a) not a goat b) but a puppet c) therefore not a real animal in any way shape or form, but still) nor do you care for its smell and insist you don't want it but get a smile from MIL as she opens your car door and plops aforementioned goat meat for you to take with: Presumed Takalaf.

So thanks to Takalaf and desis who practice it entirely too much, I have approximately twelve pounds of goat meat in my very teeny freezer that I am just not sure what to do with. Any good goat recipes? Sigh

17 comments:

Huda said...

Stew? Substitute it for lamb in any given recipe? Plop in a slow cooker with onions and tomatoes?

Aisha said...

Huda, I dont have any lamb recipes, I dont have a slower cooker... I also don't know how to cook lamb/goat very well as I find the meat hard to cook.... maybe pressure cooker?

mystic said...

Auntie Takalafed you - haha - that was the best !

Heard that joke ? - a desi woman remain pregnant with twins for 18 years as kids inside uterus were in 'takalaf', who will exit first in world.

Shawna said...

I can't stop laughing about this. It's the same with my Lebanese family. Too funny. As for goat recipes, I don't have any, but I highly recommend investing in a slow cooker. Why? Because you can buy a packet of sauce at the international market, add water, meat and veggies, allow to cook until it reaches your desired tenderness, and then attempt to enjoy.

Actually, I just got a new slow cooker because I used my old one so much that it now takes an extra hour to cook everything. It's a Hamilton Beach 4.5qt programmable cooker with meat thermometer attachement and to-go capability (not too expensive, has a good seal, cooks very well with no hot spots, and can be found on Amazon or at Targetl).

Good luck! And always cook the goat for your MIL to show appreciation. :)

Aisha said...

Mystic, LOL I have heard that joke... I so believe it! ;)

Shawna, I'm glad you enjoyed it, and thats hilarious that you guys have the same experiences! I have heard great things about slow cookers, I probably should invest in one, I'm always afraid to leave electronics on when I'm not there which is what I hear is the greatest benefit with a slow cooker. You can just throw stuff in in the morning and come back home to a great meal.

Baraka said...

So funny!

I suggest you give two pounds of goat meat to each of your next six guests.

Keep tradition alive!

Anonymous said...

Goat and lamb are very easy to cook in a pressure cooker.

Anonymous said...

LOL

muse said...

Hahaha, priceless. I suddenly miss desi parties.

As for the goat, I suggest you "takalaf" it forward by giving some to your friends.

Aisha said...

Baraka, Muse, LOL.... pay it forward huh? THAT is not a bad idea :)

Anon1, thanks for the tip... I do pressure cook, but fresh kurbani meat isn't very compliant I've seen.

Tee said...

LOL LOL LOL!

I love it - and this is my new favorite word.

The style of this post reminded my of Ali from Ummah Films. I can see him doing a funny video about this.

I have also had my fridge and freezer stuffed with things I didn't want by well meaning people. When my MIL would come back from visiting her home country she would bring a suitcase full of food. I have no idea how she got through security. LOL.

As for the goat meat - well, I know in the area where I live, hunters donate deer meat to charity and so soup kitchens or people who are having trouble making ends meet, get free venison.... I wonder if they take lamb?

Aisha said...

Tee, glad you like it :) I am surprised that your MIL could bring back food from overseas. My parents brought dry food back though. I think packaged, and processed food was okay with them. And thats not a bad idea to donate it. Actually this is meat from Eid. The Eid we just had Eid-ul-Adha, has a sacrficie component where we sacrifice a goat, or lamb, or cow. (The Abraham story). We give 1/3 to the poor, 1/3 to friends, and 1/3 to family. So maybe I could give my 1/3 to the poor as well :) Its something to think about, but the meat iss very tough, so I'm nots ure if soup kitchns would find it more trouble than its worth. But thatnks for the suggestion.

Sumera said...

Takaluf the goat meat onto someone else :p

pilgrimchick said...

That is a great post--I was really entertained by that. Good luck with the goat meat, seriously. That's a lot of goat in one freezer, regardless of its size.

Aisha said...

Sumera, your opinion appears to be the general consensus.... I guess those reading who may be invited over in the near future beware of the goodie bags :) They might be tiny little packets of goat meat!

Pilgrimchick, thank you!! LOL yeah, I guess no matterh ow big a freezer, 12 pounds of most meat is a bit much :)

TwinTopaz said...

Aisha..please cook a yummy mutton palaoo, mutton chami kabab, mutton stew and mutton quorma..and invite MIL on dinner..

Umm Hibaat said...

hilarious! my fave too: auntie takalafed you!!! lol!

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