Friday, December 31, 2010

Everything I learned in 2010 I learned from my son

In the height of labor I thought I could go no further.
He showed me I'm stronger than I ever realized.

In the early painful days I vowed to give up nursing- hourly.
He showed me moment-by-moment I can make it to the other side.

I thought I couldn't live without 8 hours of sleep.
He showed me 3 hour fragments will do.

I thought I would get angry if I heard unending cries.
He showed me I am more patient than I thought.

I thought I needed a paycheck to matter.
He showed me my presence is enough.

There were some people I thought I could never forgive
He showed me how to love without conditions, because of him I have learned to let go.

I thought after eight years of marriage I knew my husband as well as I could.
He showed me I don't- that love is a bottomless well.

I thought I wouldn't understand his needs.
He is teaching me every day what it is to be a mother.

Waterfalls. Mountains. Bananas. Rain drops splattering against a window. He's shown me that all these things are worthy of awe in equal measure. I am humbled and blessed to learn the world again through his eyes. Some years blur in my mind's eye but 2010 will always stand out because it is the year that brought me Waleed. Here's to 2011. Oh the things we will learn, both he and I.


Anonymous said...

MashaAllah and InshaAllah.
Biggg *hug*

Anonymous said...

hit me to the core man

kmina said...

So true!

One more thing my son is teaching me is to be more insistent than ever. Insist with the routine (to put him to sleep, obviously), keep on singing the same song until I have it as soundtrack in my dreams, go pick him up 5 minutes after I thought he was (finally) asleep, breathe hard twice to let the feeling of uselessness get out of me and go be soothing, calm and smiley. And I repeat the same 'tricks' over and over again, because they never work twice in a row, and I have to find the one that works NOW.

Try CIO just to see how it goes. By now you have to check this one on your list as well. For us it did not work. He works himself up to fully hysteric and he screams for some good minutes while being held too until he realises what is happening. I never know when whimpering is just mild protest or foreplay to hysteria, and since it was only once mild protest (in 3w+, almost a month), I can say that statistically, CIO is a bust for us.

Bon courage! May these restless nights be behind us soon. ;-)
Happy New Year!


iamstacey said...

So many lessons I have yet to learn! :) You lay them out beautifully. Happy New Year, my friend!

sprogblogger said...

Here's to Waleed, and here's to you, too - both as Waleed's mama, and as Aisha the amazing woman & writer. You continue to inspire...

Sara سارة said...

Assalaam Alaikum Aisha,

What a beautiful post, MashaAllah. May Allah (SWT) bless you and your family more each day, and may you have an excellent 2011 as you have had 2010! =)

With love,
A silent reader

'Murgdan' said...

Perfect. :-)

Roadblocks and Roller Coasters said...

Beautiful! Happy New Year!

runnyyolk said...

Lovely post. Happy new year!

Aisha said...

Ayesha- as always, thank you :)

Anon, aw, thanks!

Kmina- thanks for your take on this as we are both struggling with the same thing. We'll see what happens. I dont think CIO will work- but at this point I'm growing desperate.

Stacey- can't wait for your ruminations of motherhood!

Susan, your words mean so much as you are an inspiration to me :) Happy new year to you and henry!

Sara (my favorite name!) thank you for commenting and for your kind words! May you also have a great 2011 insh'Allah!

Murgdan- thanks! :)

Roadblocks, you too!

Runnyyolk- thanks for the comment! Happy New Year to you too!

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