Monday, May 30, 2011

When words are futile

He's not pointing. Or saying words.

Like other kids.

And you say it doesn't affect you. That all children learn and grow at their own pace. But somewhere deep inside: you wonder: why not? And just like that, with those two words, the small pebbles of worry seep into your skin like fine grains of sand rubbing your insides raw.

Then, today. When you get a phone call- the kind of call that makes you sink to the floor. That makes you forget where you are, or what you are, all labels teacher, lawyer, writer, stripped away until you stare at the bare bones of what a person is, a mother, a wife, a child. You are always your parent's child.

And you hear the soft padded footsteps of chubby feet and look up to see your son walking towards you. He pauses a brief moment. Examines your tear-soaked face with a concern he cannot articulate but is expressed on his small chubby face. And you feel him wrap his baby arms around you before pulling back to wipe away each tear as it trails down your face. 

And in that moment you forget the pointing. And the words not yet spoken, because all you see is love; pure unadulterated love that words can never properly express. And you want nothing more than for this little being with the toothless smile to never ever receive a phone call that speaks of anything but sunshine, daffodils and daisies while knowing that's just not possible.

A parent's love is unlike any other love, my father said to me years ago. As I watched my son's sleeping figure tonight, I thought of my own parents decades ago watching over me. Love takes many different forms but a parent's love occupies an island all its own.

If your eyes read across these words, if you are the praying sort, please keep my family in your prayers. All is well. Please God, let it remain so.

27 comments:

Anonymous said...

:( Thinking of you

md said...

my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. inshallah kheir.

Aisha said...

Anon, Md, thank you very much.

C said...

Will chant for you...take care

kmina said...

Thinking of you and praying all is well.

Anonymous said...

I want to tell you to please not worry but I guess that is not going to help. InshaAllah, it will all remain well. Ameen.
Love,
A.

E said...

I hope everything is okay Aisha.

E said...

BTW, did you change anything your blog because last week I couldn't comment on your blog.

Sprogblogger said...

Hoping everything is all right with everyone in your family & KNOWING everything is all right with Waleed. Any baby with this much empathy and compassion at such a young age has nothing wrong with him. Thinking of you, my friend, and keeping you all in my prayers.

Aisha said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Aisha said...

C, E, A, Kmina, Susan, thank you- all is well- and your prayers are appreciated, really- so so appreciated.

Anonymous said...

...have said a prayer for you and your family...hope all's well that ends well...

ash

ps ...isn't it amazing how children instinctively respond/react when they see us laughing or crying?...so young and yet so much wisdom…

Maleeha said...

I hope everything is ok, especially with Waleed. You have me worried. Praying for you and your family inshallah.

Rozeena said...

Aisha,

They are in my prayers, today and in every prayer I remember all our parents.

Julia Munroe Martin said...

This sounds like a very hard time, and I hope things are better soon. Take good care--I'll be thinking of you.

Roadblocks and Roller Coasters said...

Thinking of you and praying for you and your entire family.

Ify said...

Aisha, I've been thinking about you since I read this early in the morning, sending my love, my prayers and thoughts are with you and your family.

bongi said...

thinking and praying for you and your family xx

Bongi

Jamila said...

I'm keeping your family in my thoughts in prayers. InshAllah things will be alright. In the meantime, you are clearly doing a good job as a mom. Waleed sounds like an amazing and sweet child.

Anonymous said...

:(

Tracy said...

Prayers for your family, Aisha. If you need anything else, you know I'm an E-mail or text away {{hugs}}

expatriababy said...

De-lurking to say thoughts and hopes are with you and yours.

Although developmental milestones are probably far from your mind at this stage, I'll tell you that my daughter, also just turned one, and also does not say words. Not a mama or dada or baba or anything approaching a consonant. She'll get there when she gets there. So will Waleed.

Zehra said...

I am all worried now. I hope you're okay. Here's a virtual ((hug)). My thoughts and prayers are with you. Take care of yourself.

cheryllookingforward said...

I'm thinking of your family and hoping today is a better day.

Simeen Alikhan Kazmi said...

Praying for you and yours, Aisha.

rickshawdiaries said...

Love & prayers to you & your family.

<3 you, Aisha!

mystic-soul said...

Only unconditional love in life.....

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