Wednesday, June 01, 2011

About sunshowers after storms: what happened

My father had a heart attack Saturday evening- its mild my family assured me [as much of an assurance as anyone can give when the words heart attack are involved]. He'll be fine, the doctors said. He exercises daily, watches his diet and the initial tests prove promising. Except the initial tests were wrong. He wasn't fine. So not fine that the doctors showing the video of the blockages explained my father's well being as occupying the realm of miracles and fortunate happenstance. The initial insistence of there's no need to come fell to the wayside. We packed our things that evening to drive the eight hours to my parent's home hoping to get there in time for his open heart triple bypass surgery.

There's a Rumi poem I read in college and while I no longer can recall it verbatim, its essence has always remained in my heart: One fine day Prophet Muhammad steps out from his prayers and as he moves to put on his shoes a bird swoops in, snatching the shoe away. Overturning the shoe from the sky, a snake falls out. The bird that first appeared to insult the Prophet infact saved his life; the truth of the initial moment not evident until later.

In much the same way, the heart attack which at first appeared to be a devastating blow, in fact turned out to be a polite tap tap to look behind the curtain and see a staggering amount of blockages that were it not for the mild heart attack would never have been detected- until- well- I don't want to think about it. 

He's still in the ICU. He's not officially out of the clear but the darkness that settled over my heart is lifting as I see him open his eyes, then speak, then sit, then stand. I apologize for the vagueness of my last post- somehow giving what was happening words made it seem more frightening- more real; but I wanted to tell you that your comments? They were like a hug, a shoulder squeeze a reminder that even in my darkest hour I wasn't alone. The fact that you reached out means more than you know. Its in your most difficult moments you see who truly cares, and it is in these difficult moments support of any sort is needed the most. Thank you.

Sometimes I get very bogged down when I consider the power of prayer. Why do some get answered and others denied. I cup my hands in supplication and wonder how to begin asking when so many others ask for the same and do not receive. While I still struggle with these questions I can no less pray for his recovery as I can choose not to breathe. Please keep us in your prayers, your support means more than you know- may things only get better here on out.

[I also apologize about the delay of the blogging give-away, I'm not in a place to mail things out but hopefully in a few weeks time I will get to that. Apologies once more.]

32 comments:

Anonymous said...

my prayers always with you

purple kangaroos said...

My heart goes out to you, your father and your family.

Best wishes and prayers for your father's recovery and return to health.

Hugs, catherine

Anne R. Allen said...

So very sorry to hear it, but you have hit on one of the great truths--so often adversity is there to teach us something we absolutely need to learn.

I'm feeling guilty today because social media guru Kristin Lamb wrote this morning that nobody should have more than one blog. I know I advised you to start a separate writer's blog because you were dealing with such different subject matter. I didn't realize you could have solved the problem with a different page on the same blog. So if it's hard to keep up both blogs, Kristin says consolidating is the way to go--YOU are your brand, not your book. Sorry to have steered you wrong.

Best wishes for your dad's speedy recovery.

bongi said...

salaams sweetie

i'm so sorry to hear about your father and what you and your family have been going through :( Shukar Alhamdulillah that he has had the operation, and i pray for a speedy recovery for him inshallah.
This is one of the few times i can see i really know how you are feeling. Back in 2007, when i had just arrived back from Pakistan, i woke up from sleep to find my dad red in the face, sweating, and complaining of chest pain. He said he had had it for a couple of hours, but that he didn't want to wake me up because i was tired. I panicked as i knew he was having a heart attack infront of my eyes. I sat him down, gave him the 300mg emergency dose of aspirin, and drove, yes DROVE...idiot that i am, him to hospital, and politely waited for 30 mins in the waiting room before losing my balls, using my "dr" card, and getting him seen. those moments still haunt me, the docs shouted at me, asking me why i hadn't called an ambulance, i was a doctor for goodness sake. well, it was my father, and i lost all my sense. He also was surviving on goodness knows what, with 99% blockages to all his major vessels, and had a quadruple bypass. Alhamdulillah he has made a fantastic recovery....and 2 weeks later i had a go at him as he was in the garden chopping down a TREE.
My biggest regret to this day, other than not calling an ambulance, was that i had just started my housejob, i don't know what you call them there? Intern? First job as a doctor, and i told no one of what was going on. I was working and living 2 hours away from home. i went to work, and visited dad daily after work Why i felt such a duty to be at work, i don't know, but what i do know is that my mother and brother and above all my father really needed me and i wasn't there. As much as they like to assure you (particularly if you live far away) that they are ok,,,they may not be. Anyway, you are more sensible than me, and im rambling now, but if you need to chat or anything, feel free to email me, i don't want to disclose my address here, but if you give me yours i'll drop you a line xx

awomanmyage said...

Daimoku to your father for a speedy recovery and whatever procedures lay ahead for him - I hope they will help me live a long and happy life. You tell him Waleed needs his grandpa to chase him around!

Sprogblogger said...

So very glad your dad's doing well. Prayers to you and all who are loved by you. Thinking of you all, and so very happy he's getting such good care.

katery said...

aw, i tried to comment on a previous post and couldn't for some reason. i'm SO sorry to hear about your dad, i cannot even imagine, really, i am SO still emotionally dependent on my parents. hope he recovers quickly.
xoxo

Roadblocks and Roller Coasters said...

I will continue to pray for your dad, you and your entire family. ((hugs)) my friend.

katery said...

but yay! i can comment using firefox again!! it's been months!

Julia Munroe Martin said...

So glad things are getting better; take good care! xo Julia

'Murgdan' said...

Thinking of you and your family...and so glad it sounds like things are getting better.

Aisha said...

Anon, thanks so much

catherine, that means the world, amen.

Anne, thanks for your comment, and regarding the separate author blog- this is definitely food for thought- at a later date will definitely e-mail you to discuss further- Kristen is correct, its difficult to maintain two blogs. But don't feel guilty! My plan with the other blog is just a space-saver for when my book sells and I need an author website- I dont have the energy to platform build at this point anyways there- so No no no you did not steer me wrong!

Bongi- it means a lot for you to share your own experience with this- you can definitely relate to what I've been to- what is it about our parents and the delay in getting help- my dad had to be heavily coerced into getting help. thanks for sharing and your advice about staying on with parents even if they say they're okay- all of this was more comforting than you know.

Aisha said...

A woman my age, Susan, Roadblocks, Murgdan, Julia- thank you so much. Amen.

Kate- you've been having problems commenting also? What does it say?? I am on the verge of switching to wordpress at this point- please let me know the details.

deepbluesea said...

Aisha- About 14 months ago we found out through a stress test that my dad required a triple bypass. Always excercising, eating healthy and nowhere near overweight, this was a complete shock. I wasn't in the country while he had his surgery and it was the worst couple days of my life. But allhamdulilah he recovered and now has a new life, full of gratitutde for being granted a second chance to make himself a better person, love his family more and to prepare for his meeting with our Creator. It really was a blessing in disguise. My prayers and thoughts are with your family. inshaAllah everything will go well. He will loose weight, and not be able to do the things he did before, but his love for you will always remain, and it is the love you give back that will help him regain his strength. much love and duas.

katery said...

no longer having problems, but i used to have to switch to explorer to comment on your blog when i actually use firefox. now i can leave comments with firefox again. also, last week there was no comment box for me to comment in, but obviously there is now. seems like the problem has been resolved.

Anonymous said...

Oh, Aisha I'm so sorry. Lots of hugs. I'll be making dua for you, your dad and family. Pixie

ChaosInGa said...

Sending prayers for a speedy recovery and peace of mind your way. Many warm hugs for you and your family.

Anonymous said...

Thank you so very much for the update. It is very relieving. InshaAllah, he will be fine. Take care of yourself.
Cheers,
A.

Jenn said...

I'm so glad that the surgery went well, and he is recovering. Praying for continued recovery, and many many many more years as Grandpa! Hugs!

Jamila said...

I'm glad to hear that his surgery went well. I'll keep him in my prayers.

raisingbrainchild said...

Aisha, I read your previous post via my phone, but I have a terrible time (OK, impossible time) commenting that way, and I've been thinking about you since. I am so glad to hear that you are in the midst of "sunshowers" rather than the "storm" and so thankful that your father is doing as well as possible. I understand all too well how horrible it is to get a call that your parent is sick, then to spend the night driving and crying and praying in hopes that all will be well. I am so happy for you and your family that your father has gotten the care that he needs and is improving!

mystic-soul said...

My prayers are with you - And I am here if you need me as that what I do for living...cardiac ICU.....

Clare said...

Darling Aisha,

I pray that your father recovers very soon. These times remind us of what is truly important in life. The Rumi poem is very powerful and I think it is very apt in this situation.

Sending you lots of hugs. xx

Anonymous said...

Inshallah your dad is feeling better.

Banshee said...

Thinking of you and your family! I like the story about the snake too...I like to think things happen for a reason...even if the reason is not immediately (if ever) apparent

Sadia said...

Sending prayers and positive thoughts to your father and your entire family!!

Aisha said...

I normally reply to each of you individually and I apologize that I can't do this at the moment, but I appreciate the personal experiences you have shared, your well wishes, and the knowledge that I have people far and wide keeping him in their prayers. It means more than you know. He is finally out of ICU and in his own private room- hopefully Monday will bring him back home. It's a not-so-fun journey but its a journey and I am not losing sight of that- none of us are. Thanks again for all your support.

Fruitful Fusion said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Alhamdulillah you're Dad is ok. Don't you dare worry about replying to this comment :)

xxx

kmina said...

I know just how hard it can be.
Thinking and praying for you.

Aisha said...

Fruitful, Mina, thank you so much!

Tauqeer said...

May Allah (SWT) gives him lost lasting health.

Ameen.

PandaBear said...

I'm so sorry. My thoughts are with your family. My Dad had open heart surgery after my Mom pressured the doctors to redo the stress test that was "fine". I hope your Dad feels better soon. *hugs*

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