When things are rough, restless, and just plain difficult, I struggle with the guilt that compounds those feelings; you have a beautiful child and more blessings than you can count how dare you feel this way? The best cure I've found is to stop trying to fight it. Pause, and simply fall into the feeling. Such feelings seem to pass faster when you cast upon them no judgments and allow the sensation to simply be. It's been a beautiful seventy-something degree morning filled with wandering into coffee shops and parks, chasing squirrels [him, not me] and pausing to squat admiring in full vantage, the glory of dandelions. As I watched him, I thought to myself: these moments when you feel joyful, euphoric, proud, verklempt with love? Pause and let yourself fall into the feeling, let it fill you up
so you can drink from it in days of drought. Of course on days like today I think I'll never be thirsty again.