A friend of mine brought her daughter over yesterday for a play date with my son. She also brought her brand new baby girl. I took in the fresh new baby smell and marveled at just how tiny and soft she was. You'll get to see for yourself in a few months my friend smiled. She's right, I thought as I cooed at the little one, I'll get to find out in a few months myself.
And then later, after she left, and the kiddo was down for his nap, and I sat down with a cup of tea, I suddenly sat up straight. Oh my gosh! I will find out in a few months!
With my son, I had a running ticker counting down my pregnancy. I pored over every single page of Baby Bargains deciding between strollers, and cribs, and playpens. I journaled daily about every poke and prod and if you you asked me how far along I was I could tell you down to the week and day. Now? I'm honestly not sure how many weeks I am. I am super excited. Feel super blessed. But I have not even begun to think about what exactly I would need for another little guy. And while I'm sure I don't need much since I still have Waleed's old swing, moses basket, and other tiny tyke paraphernalia, I am thinking surely I can't just bring the little guy home from the hospital with nary an extra purchase? Is that possible?
This realization brought the next one: Soon, [insh'Allah] I will be a bonafide mother of two. Soon, my well ordered routine will be taken apart and put back together in a way I can't begin to comprehend. Waleed sleeps through the night. He entertains himself with his trucks, and airplanes and cars and is fairly independent as compared to the upcoming little guy who will be entirely helpless and dependent on me for everything.
I love the stage I'm at with my son. I love reading stories together and conversing about stickers and stamps. Soon this will change. Soon my focus will be on not one but two little beings who each want [and deserve] my undivided attention. And as much as I'm looking forward to my next son, and know from others that love is one of those things that expands to encompass each child wholly, I stare at my toddler and feel a bittersweetness at this remaining time left of just the two of us.
He has some idea there is another one coming and mostly seems excited at the prospect. He kisses my belly and informs me mama! baby inside! But somewhere I once read that another baby is for an older sibling, the equivalent of a husband coming home with another wife. And no amount of you'll love having them around! It's more to love! Works about as well as a husband trying the same lines. Which, yikes!
I'm trying to picture what life will be like being a mother of two but drawing a blank. I wonder when [if] I will find time for myself and how I will spend time with Waleed and let him know he's still very important to me. I know I'll handle it because I must. I had no idea to be a mother to one and I learned as I went along so surely I will learn in this same way to be a mother to two. It's just interesting how lackadaisical I've felt up until this point about such a huge seismic overhaul to the world I've grown accustomed to.
Do you have any advice on being the mother of two?