We moved Waleed's crib from his bedroom into ours this evening. With a bit of trepidation, we watched our son's expression as we reassembled the bolts and screws and placed the mattress inside. Who is this crib for? We asked him. Baby! Baby crib! He exclaimed with a huge grin, and then, his eyes lit up as he ran off with K to grab the sleeping Mickey mouse my brother bought him when he was a newborn. We settled the mouse into the moses basket resting in the crib and gently placed a blanket. Wait! Waleed cried. He plucked out the mouse. He rocked it and sang twinkle twinkle little star. Then he kissed the mouse twice on its nose and placed him back inside. Love you baby, he whispered placing a hand over the stuffed animal. Then, he quickly ran off to play.
It's taken some time but he's slowly coming around to the idea of a baby brother. And today when I saw this pretend play, I think I couldn't speak for a good solid minute so full felt my heart. While I know there will be bumps along the way in the path of siblinghood, I am heartened to see a glimpse of the deep abiding love I pray will be there for all time.
And then my heart fell down to my feet. One of my friends is dying. She has terminal cancer and I just learned that things don't look good right now. Her husband chronicles the intense pain that knows no words and brings about a useless weak-kneed pain in me for the seven circles of hell they are enduring. They are kind. They are good. They have a son. Itsnotfair. Itsnotfair. Itsnot fair. I simply can't process the unfairness of it. There is a belief by some in my faith that the prayers of a laboring mother are heard with special attention from God. I hope this is true. I hope they are sent like genie-wishes straight to the Almighty.
I'm making a list of those I will pray for when the day arrives, and if you would like me to pray for you generally or if there is anything specific you would like me to pray for you when the day arrives, please let me know via comments or send me an e-mail. As I wrote when I was pregnant with Waleed, while I wish they worked like a magical wand, I have seen the manifestations of these prayers in my own life by those who have likewise prayed for me and would love to include you in my prayers when the day arrives.
Likewise I ask you to please keep me in your prayers as well. I'm so grateful to be here. So close to the end. But nothing is certain until it is and I take none of this for granted. Your prayers for a happy healthy child at the end of my journey this month would be most appreciated.