On cheerios, nannies, and selfishness

Most days, like today, my son and I started out our morning reading the paper. Me with a cup of tea and the Living section, him with cheerios and the comics. Shortly after, I took him to story time at our local library. God help me, despite being a school teacher for four years, the act of group sing-song rhymes and hokey-pokey bores me to tears. Still, he enjoys it, and this is why we go. We headed to the park after but the heat was blazing and the shade trees sparse so we opted for Target where, in the toy section, we ran into two uniformed police officers wearing batman masks and speaking to each other in a deep baritone.

Entertaining, though somewhat awkward for all parties.

Today, in addition to meeting batman cops, I had another surprising moment when I realized: I'm a minority. At least in these parts. Not in the racial sense [though, yes, that too], but in the staying-at-home-mom sense. At story time, I was the only mother. Everyone else, a nanny. Same at the park. Even at Target, while I saw a handful of other mothers, I saw mostly nannies lugging babies in car seats and checking their lists.

When it happens in the sheer numbers it did today, I begin doubting myself. When I ask the lady next to me by the swings how old is she? And she pauses, crinkling her eyes, and scratching her head to remember the child's age-- its disconcerting; as if I'm the only one doing this. As though I'm strange to be home when a nanny could just as well shuttle him to story time and the park and apparently, even Target. I felt prehistoric.

The questions come with increasing frequency now. What day care is he in? What do you mean, he's not? You're still home with him? You're not back to work yet? He's not two months old, he's two. And this arrangement we have, apparently strikes some as strange. It's odd I guess to go to college, grad school, law school and choose to stay home folding laundry, planning dinners, and changing diapers.

I know I shouldn't let other people's values or opinions influence my own, and on most days they don't, but sometimes like today when you're the only mother in a sea of nannies you start questioning your choices. A nanny could read stories to him, play blocks with him, prepare egg and toast for breakfast. Does he need me at home when a really good nanny would achieve the same end?

Except the problem is, I love it. I feel lucky I can be home with him. I love watching him stomp about in his father's shoes and building towers of legos to topple moments later. I guess the thing is, maybe he would be just as adjusted and happy and exactly who he is if he was with a nanny all day while I worked. But then, I would miss being around for it. So really, ultimately, my decision to be home is truly about me, some could even say selfish. Because who else would I trade cheerios for cherries with over leisurely morning breakfasts?

Oceans, toddlers, and swimming in yoga pants

I grew up by the beach. As a child we made sand castles and dove into the salty water while our mothers chatted on blankets and our fathers practiced their best volleyball moves. Once I could drive I went nearly daily to the quiet beaches of Jupiter, doing homework, reading a book, hanging with friends--- something about the ocean brings me peace and now that I live hundreds of miles from a seashore, I miss it dearly.

Things have been busy and somewhat stressful on my end and unfortunately it now seems they have no sign of slowing down but what remains my serenity now is in less than two weeks, the three of us are packing up our car and [weather withstanding] heading to Amelia Island for a beach weekend. I've lived and stayed near beaches but this is the first time I'll be beach-front and the thought of sleeping with the sound of ocean waves drifting through the room and stepping outside the front door and sinking my feet into the grainy sand? Just thinking about it and my stress feels gone. 

I wish I could give my son the weekly trips to the beach I grew up with and feel a twinge of regret that the ocean won't be his constant companion [though, on the bright side he won't have hurricanes-- so there's that] ] but I'm so excited that we'll have a weekend as a family beach-front to enjoy and remember for years to come.

Taken your kid on a weekend beach trip? What are the essentials to take for optimal health, safety and, equally importantly, fun for toddler? I see foam noodles at stores but presume those are for pools. Floaties? Any particular sand toy equipment that's a must have? And, on a personal note, anyone reading who like me doesn't really prance about in a bathing suit? I always end up in track pants or yoga pants in pursuit of religious kosherness but they obviously cling and don't look nice if you go in the water--- what do others do? Any tips most appreciated.

15 simple, free-ish ways to entertain a toddler [or at least mine]

My friend Tracy sends me activities to do with my toddler son from time to time, like this one, and it got me thinking today about the things my kiddo loves to do for hours on end, the small things that bring him joy and thought I'd share some here in case it sparks some ideas for you with yours.

1. Gather into a pile, a variety of cushions and pillows for soft-swimming, hide and seek, stacking, sorting, and collapsing. 
2. Find a nice strong stick and a great dirt spot for prehistoric stick figure renditions.
3. Serving spoons and metal pots for a home-made heavy metal band.
4. Re-usable grocery bags to let him go 'shopping' in the house [fair warning: you may or may not have assistance in ahem, restocking said items]
5. Pull out the duster. With toddler present, dust a portion of a baseboard. Give toddler duster. Sit down and read a book for three hours.
6. Fill a bucket and/or large plastic container with water, place outdoors with cups, marbles, straws etc and let him go to town [so much cheaper than a water table and the same pleasure].
7. You could even go more fancy with the water activities like this.
8. Make a bird salad together by pulling various leaves from various trees and fallen branches to create a bird salad in a special spot and check back the next day to see if the 'birds' have 'eaten' it. Even funner in the fall with the multicolored natural extravaganza.
9. Stickers to put on book marks, coloring books, or as a way to learn body parts.
10. A pile of shoes, grown up shirts and socks, of all heights, shapes, styles to pretend with.
11. Gather all the dirty laundry, toss in the detergent, and let him 'play basketball' loading the washing machine for you. Dry time? Repeat.
12. Gather pebbles and paint them. Later, sort by colors or size.
13. Check the mail and hand him all unimportant ads and sealed envelopes for him to tear open and then take each one individually to the step-on trashcan to toss. Greatest pleasure ever.
14. Heading to the two-story Target and going up and down the escalators and elevators.
15. Visiting PetSmart to view dogs in doggy daycare who are absolutely thrilled [or barking and wagging to relay some sort of hysterical dire warning we can't understand] and rush to the glass windows to watch him as he watches back. A great place to touch snakes, learn fish faces from the masters, and the original art of tweeting with parrots and all the other birds.

What activities do you do with your child? What activities does your child love to do?

Cooktops, laptops, and other random thoughts

My laptop went kapoot. Again. There's something with me and laptops, we simply don't see eye to eye for more than two years. I paid the hefty premium for a macbook over a regular laptop because I heard they perform better and are less prone to breakage but since the day I purchased the laptop I've had issues with the logicboard, the track pad, and lo and behold two years later kapoot. Luckily its fixable [for a tidy fee] but until then I'm computerless except today when hubby brought his work laptop home. The genius at the apple genius bar thinks my chronic laptop issue might be because I don't charge on surge protectors and while my particular issue at the moment with my mac is not surge protector related, it's something worth trying as a new laptop every two years is an expensive habit. How often do you go through them?

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I'm slowly settling into my new house and while I miss the neighborhood vibe of my old hood I do love the house. His playroom is coming along and the backyard is cleared for the swingset arriving in three weeks and this is all very exciting. What's not exciting? Our cook top:

I could live with the fact that its not gas, and I could live with the fact that its original to the house built in 1988, and while I love the vent that pulls all cooking smells outdoors, the issue is the cooking space. Two burners and a huge grill contraption. I am baffled at taking up half the stove with a grill. Did they not have grills in 1988? This is the South. Grilling is part of the social code of conduct. Outdoor grilling. Also, how messy would grilling on an electric stove get?! At first I thought I can still cook on it and waited 55 minutes for water to boil on the grill. It never did. The previous owners did a lot of updating to the house with lovely tiled bathrooms and granite countertops and a stainless steel dishwasher but I am dumbfounded how they lived in this house for 24 years and were not perplexed by the stove. Based on the absolute flawless condition the vintage stovetop is in I can only presume they did not cook-- ever. Do any of you reading use such a stove? Replacing it is not as easy as I imagined since no one makes cook tops this size anymore. They are either a great deal bigger, or a few inches smaller than the given space. So. We have to replace the entire island with new granite and a new stove. We'll also switch out to gas while we're at it. In the meantime I cook one-dish meals and embrace the oven.

First world problems, I know.

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Something strange this way happened as my son now sleeps in until 9am every day [knock on wood, throw salt over shoulder, hang evil eye amulet over crib]. Considering we began our mornings around 6:45, this is a lovely new development. However, corresponding with this new development is a befuddlement as to what time to put the little guy down for his nap. He still wants a nap but I am not sure what time as noon is way too early after one wakes at 9am. Do your little ones wake at the blessed hour of nine or so? What time do they go down for naps? When did your little one stop taking naps? My best friend still naps her daughter who is five but another friend said her doctor urged her to quit at 28 months but I need he needs those naps! It can't stop!!

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I am no Suzy Homemaker so cleaning tips are not something you've ever seen on this blog and likely will never see again but I had to share my most recent cleaning discovery should it be of interest to someone reading like did you know vinegar plus water creates the best cleaning product out there? Particularly for hard wood floors? I've used so many different cleaning solutions on these hardwood floors but they always looked a bit off until I tried this combination today and voila-- smooth shiny floors you could eat a meal on without any harsh chemicals-- and vinegar? It's cheap.

In other cleaning enlightenments the best way to clean glass? Use regular old windex or vinegar + water + a dash of dish soap but the key in amazing clean? Use newspapers to wipe, not paper towels. It has changed my life. Streak-free wonderfully clean windows. It may be that this news is akin to me telling you that pedicures help toes look pretty but if this is news to you too, try it-- its not only greener, and cheaper, the effects are cleaner.

Three Beautiful Things Thursday

One. Watching from beneath a shade tree my son and his new friend as they played tag and kicked a ball back and forth and climbed a thick brick ledge one behind the other- and the sheer sadness at saying goodbye. Thank God for little boys and the squirrels to be chased that ease aforementioned sadness faster than words ever can.

Two. After a day of discovering circles on buttons, and cookies, stickers and the eyes of his favorite stuffed animal, he is deeply intimate with circles. He draws them on his easel. He says the word. This morning he was not aware of what a circle was. I'm a teacher. I'm used to bringing new knowledge to young children but maybe its because I met my son when he wasn't aware he had hands, and now I watch him painting circles with those same hands on his easel, that this moment of teaching feels different.

Three. No matter the crank-o-meter of the day, after bath-time but before bed-time is the sacred moment, when he, without fail leaps into my arms hugging and kissing me and telling me he loves me. I can be in the middle of a horrible day but those cuddles are manna from heaven and they transform every emotion in that moment into simply that of peace. Trite, and yet, the absolute truth. If only scientists could discover the secret power in this exchange, bottle it up, and heal the world.

He's twenty-five months old today. More a boy with each passing day. It's beautiful. It's fleeting. Thankful I realize it so I can savor it like lemonade on a hot day. Hope you had a beautiful Thursday as well.