Thursday, January 14, 2016

Happy One Month Birthday Zayn

Dear Zayn,

You are now one month old. Born the day before Thanksgiving, your birth came as a complete surprise. My kiddos are of the "arrive on time" variety, but your arrival was about three weeks before your due date thanks to a routine trip to the doctor's office that revealed that it looked like this was the safest route to go to ensure your healthiest arrival. People say not to think about all the could have beens related to your arrival but I can't help it. I am so grateful for modern technology. I am so thankful that it helped me know it was time for you to come into this world. I am so thankful you are here healthy and sound.


In some ways it worked out that you came right before Thanksgiving as nearly everyone in your extended family was coming for the long weekend. So nearly everyone got to meet you from your uncles to your grandparents. They were all, like me, completely and instantly in love with you. 


After the weekend everyone left but Nani stayed behind. She came to help watch you and to help me make sense of my new normal of three little boys, each who need me very much in their own unique ways. She stayed for six weeks and helped with everything from food to reading books and giving hugs whenever necessary and she got just the littelst bit attached to you. Seriously, you and her were inseparable and it was very special to see. I will never ever be able to repay her for all she did for us and for you except by hoping to be as good of a mother to you as she has been to me.


Speaking of inseperable. Your brothers. Before you were born they spoke to my belly. They told you stories. They "kissed" you each night. It was all very sweet but I wondered what would happen when you actually arrived and became a concrete reality in their life. I expected jealousy and resentment. Who was this little creature who needed their mom 24/7? I was wrong. All you got was love.


You're the first person they kiss when they wake up. You're the last person they hug before its time to sleep. If you cry they stand concerned and filled with worry. They fetch your pacifiers and sing you songs when you cry during your bath (Holy moly kiddo, you hate baths).

Your eldest brother is in school with its own schedule, and the other with his own. Throw in potty training into the mix and well, yeah it's a little chaotic of late.  I expected to feel overwhelmed and drained and unable to keep it all together, and while yes its not easy in the slightest bit, its not as scary as I feared. I think the biggest thing is I know how short this babyhood of yours is. I know each day that passes you are bigger than the day before. I know this time next year you will be a totally different kiddo, bigger and more independent. And though sometimes I am tired and sleepy and sometimes this house is a total wreck I don't lose sight how brief this moment in time with you is. And so through the craziness, I remember to cherish you, and I remember to treasure these moments with my small little family and the blessing that it is in my life.

Welcome to the world baby Zayn. You are beautiful, small, and perfect. You are so very very loved.

Love,

Your Mama

P.S: It's a question we get a lot, so in case you wonder someday, no, we did not name you after Zayn Malik the singer in One Direction.

3 comments:

Susan Jett said...

So beautiful, your whole family & the love you all display for each other--so beautiful. Thank you for the glimpse into your life!

Rajni said...

Such a touching post and such a beautiful family!

mystic said...

Indeed he is beautiful and perfect.

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